在上一篇文摘中, 我看到了作者Ron不斷地強調哈科米的精神: "慢慢來"
慢, 到底能有多慢呢?
在上一次的哈科米成長團體
我看到老師真的是可以一直等, 一直等, 等下去
整個一對一的session,大約是有一個鐘頭
但老師散發出來的感覺是: 如果我們二個人想要這樣對看下去
是OK的, 老師可以一直等,即使花了整個session 而沒有太大的結果, 也是無仿
因為這樣子對看, 也是舒服的
因為在哈科米裡, 帶頭往前走的人, 不是諮商師, 而是個案
可是,在一旁觀看的我, 卻急地不得了啊!
看著老師輕輕地丟一句話, 個案也輕輕地回了一句,船過水無痕似地沒特別的反應;
我一直在想, 這樣很平靜的二個人, 一直看下去, 倒底會有什麼結果?
我甚至幻想著衝到個案前面
大力地用雙手搖著他的肩膀, 大聲問:
"這位夥伴,你裡面倒底藏著什麼東西?快倒出來吧!!!活了這麼久,你一定有很多過不去的地方吧?說出來讓老師幫你解決啊!"
可惜,這麼戲劇化的手法, 不是哈科米的風格; 站在神經心理學的背景裡,Ron在書裡提到, 他要的是在覺知(awareness)狀態下的東西, 而不是要 "反應(Reaction)". 而前者所需要喚起的神經元, 是複雜而緩慢地;
面對這麼細緻的哈科米, 我身為觀眾, 只好投降,承認我內心好大喜功, 以及喜歡灑狗血式的劇情發展
還有,剛才我幻想要去搖個案肩膀的雙手, 也明顯地指出我的暴力!
是的, 我沒有打對方, 可是在哈科米來說,這也是一種意念的暴力;
在哈科米的另一個重要精神, "非暴力"(nonviolence)裡, Ron在書裡笑著說, 暴力有分許多層次, 對哈科米來說, 判斷, 計畫, 建議...種種想要瓦解對方心防的手法, 都--算--是--暴--力
看到這句話, 像是站在一位內功深厚的太極拳大師前, 他丟出了渺茫的一句 "無--招--勝--有--招",讓我開始墜入哈科米的迷霧裡, 猜不透這無招的功法要怎麼打啊?
然後,只見坐在台前的個案,霎時間右眼輕輕地滑下一顆眼淚,劃過了他仍然保持平靜的臉
而老師只不過輕輕地對他說了五個字吧...溫柔地在等待了一個小時後, 用暖暖的愛接住了他的那顆淚
這裡摘錄一段太極拳張三丰的故事
"Origins
There are many stories concerning the origins of Tai Chi, the most common and accepted one is as follows;
In the l3th Century a Taoist hermit, Chang San Feng from Wu Tang Mountain was disturbed during his meditation by a fight between a snake and a crane. The snake was evading the cranes sharp beak by swaying its body this way and that, so that by yielding to the beak and the crushing wings of the bird, no force could be applied against it. Through contemplation of this simple episode, Chang realized that the soft weak and yielding (Yin) actions of the snake overcame the strength and direct force (Yang) of the bird, which became tired through effort and force and finally gave up the struggle. By remaining relaxed the snake could read the movements of the bird and so move naturally to avoid what was coming. In terms of meditation, this means trying to find out what makes us separate from other beings. What takes us away from harmony so that we have to use force in trying to overcome obstacles in our path.
Having understood this Chang then incorporated his realization into a set of movements based on the martial arts. It was this synthesis of the martial arts and meditation, movement and relaxation for mind, body and spirit, which has made Tai Chi one of the most practiced forms of exercise in the world."
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