美國哥倫比亞廣播公司「六十分鐘」節目(CBS 60 Minutes) 的主持人
Andy Rooney，曾針對40歲以上的婦女發表過一些看法，誰知他的「閒話女人」卻引起一陣「女人閒話」。
Andy 的隨筆講稿常惹人褒貶，這些年來他在節目中慣問的「你有沒有想過……？」（Did you ever wonder...?）已被認定是他的警句，但他堅稱在他為「60分鐘」節目所寫過的900多篇隨筆中，從未用過該語；同樣他也堅稱從未寫過一篇有關「熟女」（older women）的隨筆 --- 雖然本文已隨電子郵件在世界上繞了好幾年，迄今還仍然常在網路上出現：
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.
隨著年齡增長，我珍視年過40的女人勝於一切。
Here are just a few reasons why:
這裡恰好有幾個理由：
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask,
年過40的女人絕不會在三更半夜把你吵醒，然後問你：
”What are you thinking?”
「你在想什麼啊？」
She doesn’t care what you think.
她才不在乎你在想些撈什子。
If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game,
年過40的女人如果不想看球賽，
she doesn’t sit around whining about it.
她不會膩在你身邊嘟嘟囔囔的，
She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.
她會去做些她想去做，而通常那更會令人關注的事情。
Women over 40 are dignified.
年過40的女人莊嚴高貴，
They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera
她們不會跟著你大呼小叫；不論在歌劇院
or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
或在好貴好貴的餐廳裡。
Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you
當然，如你罪有應得，她們會毫不猶豫的給你一傢伙，
if they think they can get away with it.
只要她們認定能夠全身而退。
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.
熟女們會慷慨的讚美，經常還過當，
They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
她們懂得不被賞識的滋味。
Women get psychic as they age.
女人越老越敏銳，
You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
你永遠不必向年過40的女人懺悔認罪；
Once you get past a wrinkle or two，
一旦你能對一兩條皺紋視若無睹，
a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
年過40的女人會遠較相像而年輕的美眉來得性感。
Older women are forthright and honest.
熟女直率又誠實；
They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
如果你是，或假裝是個蠢蛋，她們會立刻叫你滾蛋，
You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
你根本不必納悶跟她在一起時該要有些啥子立場。
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
是的，我們歌頌年過40的女人，因著眾多的原因，
Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal.
不幸的是，這事情並非對等。
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
相對於每一個令人暈眩、時髦、髮型迷人的40歲以上的辣女，
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants
就會有一個禿頭、凸肚、穿著古板的黃色長褲，
making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.
出著洋相跟二十出頭的餐廳美眉調情的熟男。
Ladies, I apologize.
女士們，我認錯，
For all those men who say,
為所有說著下面這種話的男人：
”Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”,
「若能喝到免費牛奶，為何要買頭母牛？」
here’s an update for you.
這裡有個給妳們的更新版本：
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
當今有80% 的女人反對婚姻，
Why?
為什麼？
Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig
因為女人領悟到：不值得買回一整頭豬，
just to get a little sausage!
只為了一根小小的臘腸！
* 延伸閱讀:
http://www.wretch.cc/blog/songzhen&article_id=524124
