I Say What I think
My mother was born on the river Rhine, where people are gay and easygoing, where they drink much wine and don’t care who likes them. When I was a child I often heard form her a healthy warning, especially when I came crying that someone didn’t like me and demanding to know what I could do to make him or her like me.
Everybody’s friend is everybody’s fool,” she would say serenely; or sometimes, “Many enemies mean much honor,” or “Where there’s much sun there’s much shadow.”
I have interpreted those ideas in my own way. I don’t set out to antagonize people, or to be aggressive or provocative, but I have never made a special concession just for the purpose of being liked. I’ve spoken my mind even when I knew that what I said might be unpopular, because I believe that to speak your mind is essential, to take part in a controversy is important. It has never been my nature to sit back and keep quiet for fear of treading on somebody’s toes.
The danger of being to sensitive to what others think is strongly illustrated in the play Death of a Salesman. The author makes an important cause of the demoralization of his hero the fact that he cared too much whether he was well liked. He was afraid ever to make an enemy, and this hastened his destruction.
My mother made me immune to that fear in early youth. You can’t go through life only making friends, I realized very soon.
If, for a good cause, you must make an enemy, accept the fact. As long as your conscience is clear, you will find that you have strengthened not only your determination but your character.
敢說真話
我的母親身在萊茵河上,那裡的人樂天知命,隨遇而安,他們愛喝酒,不在乎誰喜歡不喜歡他們。小時候,母親常常給我健全的告誡,特別在因為沒有人喜歡而哭泣,想知道怎樣才能使人家喜歡我的時候。
她會安詳地說:「我們的朋友往往就是愚弄我們的人。」或者說:「一個人如果聲譽日隆,往往招致許多敵人。」或者說:「有多大太陽,便有多大陰影。」
我把這些觀念用我自己的方法來解釋。我不存心與別人敵對,也不去冒犯人家。我從不為了要討人喜歡而特別讓步。雖然我明知說的話不討人喜歡,可是我仍說出心裡想說的話。因為我認為最主要的是心口一致,在爭論中有立場最重要。我從不會因為怕踩到人家的痛腳,而坐下來保持緘默。
對人家的想法太過敏感是很危險的。關於這一點,百老匯劇本「一個推銷員之死」中曾有強烈的顯現。劇中主角消沉,劇作者曾指明,主要原因在於他太注意人家是否喜歡他。他怕樹敵,這一點加速了他的沉淪。
母親在我年少時就使我不受這種畏懼。所以我很早就體會到,終其一生,我們不可能只交朋友而不樹敵。
假使為了相當理由,你必須樹敵,那麼便只有接受這個事實,只要你心地光明,你會發現這樣做不僅使你意志堅決,還使你的品格更完善。
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