By then, TM already became unconscious. He tried to pull off his mask and behaved very erratically. It was only when we got him a MP3 player which played the Om Mani Padme Hung chant repeatedly, then he began to calm down.
We chanted by his bedside and constantly reminded him of Rinpoche and the teachings he received.
然後，TM開始陷入昏迷。他試著推開呼吸器，且行為異常。只有在我們放了一個MP3在旁邊，不斷地播放六字大明咒之後，他才安靜下來。在他身邊，我們不斷唱誦著，且持續地提醒他仁波切，以及他所受的教授。
Even in his state of unconsciousness, we noticed that TM kept moving his legs to the Sadhana position. I posted TM the question, ”Are you doing Sadhana?” To my surprise, TM nodded his head, even though he was already in coma.
即使在他昏迷的狀況，我們注意到TM不斷地移動他的腳成儀軌中的姿勢。我問TM：「你在修儀軌嗎？」令人非常驚訝，即使他已經深陷昏迷中，TM竟點了點頭。
On 22 March 2006, I was informed that TM’s kidney had failed to function and that he had to be fed by tube only.
3月22日，我被告知TM的腎已經衰竭，只能經藉由管子吸收液態。
On 23 March 2006 morning, the doctor requested to see me immediately early in the morning. I had a feeling that the doctor wanted to pull off the plug on the life support system. As such, I called Rinpoche to ask for his advice. Rinpoche told me not to pull off the plug.
3月23日一大清早，醫生要求立刻見我。我有種感覺，覺得醫生會要我拔管，摘除他的生命維持器。因此我打電話給仁波切請求指示。仁波切要我別拔管。
I plucked up the courage to visit the doctor, who asked whether or not I wanted to resuscitate TM should his lungs collapse. I checked with the doctor whether or not I would be killing TM. The doctor informed me that TM was now fully reliant on the ventilator and there was no way for him to live on, so should his lungs collapse I would not be illing him. Realizing that there was no other way to sustain TM’s life and hoping to shorten his pain, I told the doctor not to revive TM.
我鼓起勇氣去見醫生，他問我若當TM肺衰竭時，是否要進行急救。我和醫生討論若做出放棄的決定，是否等於殺了TM。醫生告訴我，TM現在已經全靠呼吸器維生，不太可能存活了，所以當他肺衰竭時，是無關我下了殺了他的指令與否。瞭解到已經無法再維持TM的生命之後，且希望減短他所受的痛苦，我告訴醫生不要急救。
After that, I immediately called Rinpoche to double check if I made the right decision. It surprised me when Rinpoche told me that I should resuscitate TM at least two times and make sure that the doctor does not pull off the plug! Rinpoche also told me very specifically that I must continue to chant Om Mani Padme Hung for TM and keep reading a message to him from Rinpoche.
之後，我立刻打電話給仁波切，再度確認我是否做了正確的決定。令我驚訝的是，仁波切告訴我應該至少急救TM兩次，且確定要醫生不要拔管！仁波切也特別地告訴我，應該持續地唱誦六字大明咒給TM聽，且不斷地唸仁波切的指示給他聽。
”Tuang Mee, death is happening to you. But do not worry, this is just another dream. You will see lots of vision and hear all kinds of sound. Just think of your root guru and Avalokiteshvara. Let go of all your attachment to your family and home. Chant Om Mani Padme Hung.”
「Tuang Mee，死亡已經來臨了。但不要擔心，這只是另一場夢。你將會看到很多的景象，且聽到很多的聲音。只要牢牢地想著你的上師與觀世音菩薩。放掉你對家人所有的執著。唸誦六字大明咒。」
Following this phone call, I quickly informed the doctor that I’ve changed my mind and I wanted the hospital to resuscitate TM should his lungs collapse.
掛掉電話之後，我急忙通知醫生我改變了心意，當TM肺衰竭時，我要醫院進行急救。
My relatives and I then took turns to chant Om Mani Padme Hung with TM. I would also read Rinpoche’s message to TM at regular intervals. Having to reading the message was an extremely agonizing and heartbreaking experience for me, as I really could not accept that death was happening to TM. However, upon hindsight, I realized how fortunate TM was - to have his guru tell him that he was dying and reminding him to let go of his attachment. It
also helped me gradually to come to terms with the fact that TM was leaving us and I had to let go of him for his own benefit.
我和親戚們輪流在TM旁唱誦六字大明咒。我也持續間隔地對TM唸誦仁波切的指示。唸這指示對我而言，是場痛苦難忍，且心碎的過程，因為我實在無法接受TM即將死去的事。無論如何，當事情過後，我瞭解到TM是多麼的幸運——能有上師告訴他，他正面臨死亡，告訴他放掉執著。這亦逐漸地幫助我瞭解到TM將離開我們，而為了他好，我必須要放手。
It was only after TM’s death then I learnt that on the morning of 23 March 2006, Rinpoche instructed some students, asking them to visualize him as Avalokiteshvara and chant Om Mani Padme Hung to dedicate to TM. He also stated that TM would pass away either on 23 March or 24 March 20 06.
在TM往生之後我才知道，在3月23日早晨，仁波切曾要求某些學生，觀想他為觀世音菩薩，然後唱誦六字大明咒。他亦說過TM將在23或24日離開人世。
In the afternoon, one of Rinpoche’s students came to visit us. He brought along two lamas who blessed TM and chanted for him. They also brought some precious nectar pills that were blessed by HH Dalai Lama. However, I thought that TM just did not have the merits to consume the nectar pills as he was no longer able to take in any solid food. At that point in time, the nurse brought in a bowl of water to feed TM through the tube. My Dharma brother suddenly thought of a brilliant idea - he crushed the nectar pills and mixed them into the water - and we requested the nurse to feed TM with the ”nectar pill solution”.
當天下午，仁波切的一位學生來看我們。他帶來兩位喇嘛為他加持與唱誦。他們亦帶來一些珍貴的甘露丸，是由達賴喇嘛所加持過的。但是，我想TM無法有足夠福報來接受這些甘露，因為他已經無法進食任何固體食物了。但就在那時候，護士進來帶了一瓶水，讓TM經由管狀餵食。我的法友突然想到非常棒的想法——他碾碎甘露丸然後混在水中，接著要求護士餵他這瓶”甘露丸水”。
Just about an hour after TM took the nectar pills, h is lungs collapsed for the first time. As instructed by Rinpoche, we got the doctors to resuscitate him. After they managed to revive him, the doctor told me that it was quite a miracle for TM to survive given his current state.
就在TM用完這瓶甘露丸水約1個小時後，他的肺首度衰竭。遵照仁波切的指示，我們找來醫生幫他進行急救。就在他們急救之後，醫生告訴我TM能夠(回復到)現在這樣的狀況，真是一個奇蹟。
Because of this first collapse, TM was transferred from the common ward into the critical care unit, where he has a room by himself. This allowed us to chant Om Mani Padme Hung loudly inside the room, without having to worry about disturbing other patients. This gave us the conditions to chant for him and even to place an electric prayer wheel above his head. If we did not revive him, TM would have died in the common ward, where we would not have the opportunity to do all these for him.
因為第一次的衰竭，TM從普通病房被轉送到加護病房，這樣他就可以有自己的一間病房了。這使得我們可以在房內大聲地唱誦六字大明咒，而無需擔心去吵到其他病人。這讓我們不僅能替他唱誦，並且甚至能放一個電動的祈禱輪在他的頭上。如果我們沒有急救他，TM就可能死於普通病房，這樣我們就沒有機會可以幫他做這些事。
About two hours later, TM collapsed for the second time. We requested the doctor to resuscitate him again.
大約在2個小時後，TM再度衰竭。我們再度要求醫生急救。
At 7pm, TM collapsed for the third time. Not wishing to give up, I requested the doctor to revive him again. However, the doctor told me that nothing else can be done, as they had already set the medicine and the life support machine to the maximum. With support from friends and relatives, I continually chanted for TM and read him Rinpoche’s message.
大約在7點，TM第三度衰竭。不願放棄，我再度要求醫生急救。但是醫生告訴我，沒有他們能夠再做的了，因為他們已經給了藥，且生命維持器也已經開到最大。在朋友與親戚的支持下，我們持續地為TM唱誦，且為他唸誦仁波切的訊息。
Finally, at 10.45pm, TM took his final breath. I called Rinpoche but he did not pick up the phone. At that instant, I was very sad and thought that Rinpoche had given up on TM.
最後，在晚間10:45，TM呼出了他最後一口氣。我打電話給仁波切，但他並未接電話，我非常悲傷，認為仁波切已經放棄TM了。
However, a few minutes later Rinpoche returned call. I told him that TM had left. Rinpoche said that he knew and he was ac tually in the midst of doing a puja for TM. As Rinpoche was talking to me, I could hear the sound of bells and chants in the background. Rinpoche also told me that he had to do a Phowa for TM immediately.
無論如何，幾分鐘後仁波切回電了。我告訴他TM已走了。仁波切說他知道，且他剛剛正好正在為TM修法。當仁波切跟我說話的時候，我還能聽到後面傳來的鈴聲與唱誦聲。仁波切也告訴我他得隨即為TM修頗瓦法。
About ten minutes later, Rinpoche called me again. He told me that he had done the Phowa for TM and that he was confident that TM will take a good rebirth. Rinpoche then instructed us to chant Namo Amitabha for TM.
大約在10分鐘後，仁波切再度打電話給我。他告訴我他已經幫TM修了頗瓦法，且他有把握TM已經有了一個好的轉生。仁波切隨後指示我們為TM唱誦長壽佛咒語。
We continued to chant for TM for about an hour, before we had to move TM’s body to the funeral parlour. This arrangement was only possible because we followed Rinpoche’s instructions to revive TM, which led him to be transferred to the critical care unit. If we had allowed him to die without reviving him, we would have been asked to move his body immediately.
在我們移靈殯儀館之前，我們持續為TM持咒約1個小時。這樣的安排只有可能在仁波切指示急救TM之後，因為這能讓他被轉送到加護病房。如果我們讓他就這樣離開，沒有急救，那我們就會被要求得要立刻移靈。
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