其實去年也有一本
, 是由一個叫 Frank Warren和 Post Secret合作的作品. Post Secret 有一個網站 www.postsecret.com 大家有興趣可以看一看; 他們專門收集"秘密", 你可以用明信片寄到他們公司, 寫什麼都可以, 主要就是你不為人知的秘密, 在網站上留言也可以, 算是一個"發洩情緒"的管道.....書籍的編排當然很"炫美編", 不過那可都是"寄件人"在明信片上的創意, 因為文筆不夠好, 在此無法細細描繪那一張張的明信片(很多是自製的, 充滿各種難以言喻的風格), 不過我想重點是,從這些文字或畫面中所流露出的Messages: 難堪 / 自大 / 羞恥 / 無厘頭 / 情愛 / 恐懼 還有很多很多的孤獨與寂寞....
看到最後會發現, 那些所謂的秘密背後,充滿的是更多人類的同質性:
1. I hate this town but I'm so afraid to leave.
2 .....I think secrets are a good thing. It makes a person more mysterious, sexy, and unique. Secrets are fun, liberating; they make people who they are.
3.I'm a cheerleader; but secretly I deal drugs.
4.I want to have sex with a piano.
{ you feel alone, but you feel like there are a lot more people alone with you..可不是嗎?? 繼續看下去}
5.(這是讓我覺得最傷心的一篇) My mom puts a star on the calendar for everyday I haven't cut myself.....I don't deserve 5 of these stars....
6.(這是一張模糊的女性側寫照, 用銀灰色膠帶貼住四角在黃底的明信片上)
I FORGIVE THE MAN WHO RAPED ME.
7.Some days, I don't mind not being able to go back to who I was.
8.(小學畢冊的大頭照, 其中一個小女生被紅筆劃的愛心圈了起來)
I still look at your 3rd grade picture and think what might have happened.....if I hadn't moved 825 miles away.
9.Sometimes when we think we are keeping a secret, that secret is actually keeping us. ---Frank
10.(哈佛校園的明信片,兩道白底黑字貼其上)
It's always been my dream to attend Harvard Law School. Now that I'm here.
I am counting down the days until I can leave.
11.I desperately want someone to recognize one of my secrets so I can finally stop pretending.
12.(這個好笑)
I used to think the Sistine Chapel(西斯汀教堂) was called the 16th Chapel.
13. I'm starting to realize that all my problems can't be blamed on anything else but myself--only I can make my life what I want it to be and everyday my self-control and self-discipline fuck it up more and more....I miss the days when I thought there was something wrong with me.
14. I am afraid that since my Dad is GAY that I might be too.
15. Let me tread my own path don't worry I will be fine
16. I wish I were addicted to things...so I could blame THEM for why I'm so messed up.
17. I'm afraid that deep down I am truly unworthy of another person's love.
18. People don't change...They just findd new way to lie to you...
19.(在化學元素表上寫著) I wish DEATH upon my chemistry teacher.
20 (超級Hollywood的劇情)
I once wrote a poem about you on a $1 bill in hopes that one day it will end up in your wallet....
今天跟大家去吃火鍋 了不起 簡直跟在台灣海霸王沒兩樣
我們連醬料都可以像餐廳那樣自己調配喲
我也拿出從Boston買來的魚丸 / 花枝丸和水餃
我們還可以分葷鍋和素鍋哩
前會長阿輝下禮拜要回台灣三個星期 做啥??
提親 + 結婚 + 請客 所有程序一次完成.....
Michael將要去英國開學術研討會
我將要去Hawaii....看來大家都很有事做....
今天有看到今年剛來的夫妻
大家都趕在30 歲前結婚的樣子??
還聽到很多好笑的情況
像是第一次跟女方家長見面就是要結婚了
還一次就將人家帶到美國 唸書兼度蜜月
是在路邊買結婚證書請對方家長簽名的.....
直接飛美國
來Dartmouth 度蜜月 (好怪喲....真不像時下年輕人...對呀,我們這輩的怎麼可能像時下台灣的年輕人呢)
說什麼女方家長一直以"陳先生" 稱呼女婿
在婚宴當天竟還問:"啊陳先生, 你到底是叫什麼名字???"害大家一臉尷尬
(這樣看來, 會來Dartmouth的人都怪怪的)
今天這一餐真是吃得很豐盛, 還有一些肉 / 餛飩 /丸子沒有吃完說 ....
****************************
反正已經決定今天不進圖書館了, 所以火鍋之後, 又回到書店看書
女導演 Nora Ephron寫了一本書 < I feel bad about my neck> 正在特價中.....OK,不是因為特價才看的,因為是<西雅圖夜未眠>的導演的文字作品哪....
(明天早上要去GYM....不過得先去圖書館搶個位子)
(今天風有夠冷有夠大, 邊走邊罵:"稀狼喲....")
隔壁桌的兩個女生正練習著我聽不懂的語言 (可能是德文??),八成下禮拜要考試...吵, 可是沒辦法, 位子已經坐滿了....只要用心聽, 四周其實充滿了各種"聲音"…應該讓聽覺無限擴大
(阿輝和Michael也認識Matt, Matt 的女朋友也在實驗室工作…阿輝說Matt說我是一個很酷的同學…..[很酷?? 很冷漠?? ])
真希望我的眼睛能看到其它人正在讀什麼….不是封面而是內容
(還是今天傍晚就去GYM??....今天去好了)
我喜歡這書的書頁邊緣....常常發現這裡有不少書都有固意裁切不齊的書頁邊緣, 還見得到"鋸齒" 狀的裁切邊, 觸感極好....幾乎讓我想起小時候睡覺時一定要抱的那條小棉被....by the way, 我管叫這條小被子"小黃".....
(But as I said, this is not a story about money. This is a story about love.)
(What failure of imagination had caused me to forget that life was full of other possibilities, including the possibility that eventually I would fall in love again?)
傍晚去了GYM, 正如所料, "客滿".....大概正好是星期六的關係....東找找西找找, 每台跑步機上都有人...最後只好去用那我最不會的"滑步機"....真是盛況空前哪, 怎麼 Dartmouth的學生都這麼有精神, 這麼愛健身呢?? 隨著大廳廣播的<Last Christmas> 的樂聲, 和這麼多人一起在各種機器上跑步 / 滑步享受律動的機會, 這輩子應該很難再遇到了吧??
