Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.
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Since I was three, I was surrounded by an intense Catholic environment at school. I remember those few Sisters who liked and me encouraged me when I was young and weak, and I had always doubted the reasons why they exist. All I know as a primary kid was, they are sisters, they won't get marry and they don't have their own family. They live together, a group behind my school, and another group somewhere else. There are a few Chiense among them, but there are more whites. They speak English and if I want to tell them why I am frightened, I have to speak out in English.
Then I became a secondary school student. I didn't ever go back to the secret place behind my primary school where I met those group of sisters, and I was even told that they've moved.
And then I learnt the above prayer in addition to the common Lord's prayer that we've been using during primary school.
And then people started to rush through the prayers every morning and noon before classes. Praying became a rountine part of our day, and it began to take us 10 seconds to mutter through the Hail Mary.
And then I graduated from Santa Rosa de Lima. One year before that happened, the captain of my class brought me to her fellowship. She is a Christian, a very good person in my eyes, and a happy friend of mine. I badly needed something to help me those years, after a prolonged period of darkness inside my heart because of some twisted reasons.....and I noticed my class captain and her religion.
This is my first time going to a church on my free will.
I left Macau, after going to several fellowships held by a Christian church several times throughout one whole year. My excuse: I am too busy. My weekends are not spent at home but the conservatory, studios and my students' homes, and....
Well, excuses are excuses.
I came to USA. I was invited to a Christian retreat camp the second week I arrived. I never try anything like that and my outgoing character propelled me to agree sacrificing my unlimited vacation days somewhere out there in California's state capital's countryside ranch. I met a girl named Mandy Leung, and I was attracted by her smile at the beginning. She talked a lot, but I later discovered that she is exceptionally a quiet girl. She told me she liked the way I look at her and she wanted to introduce her best listener to me. My curiousity didn't stop me from asking her a lot and a lot of hard questions, but she tried her best to satisfy me.
After the camp, I received a very nice Chinese-English Bible. It is also the version I told Mandy that I've been using at secondary school. On the front page, one sentence she wrote: I hope that you would never forget that night, when I taught you how to speak to God with your heart.
I always learn things in a hard way. Any subject. I was never brilliant when I first touch anything except on talking, acting and reciting. Primary one, first in the interschool story telling contest. I think honestly my mum can remember that more vividly than I do. At times, I am told that I am talented in communicating. But...I have the habit of not believing what I am told. I have to find the answers out myself.
And the answer is, NO.
I am never good at praying.
And praying is one of the easiest way to communicate with the Lord.
But then I found my keys just now, at 7:30pm, April 20th, 2003, Cupertino, California, USA.
Then the first thing I could ever think of is your prayer. I know what I want to do - I want to pray for you, who prayed for me this morning. And so I prayed, right on the spot, trying back to hold back my tears.
Thanks, Lord, for giving me the chance to speak to the sweetest girl I've ever met in my life.
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