問：古儒吉，你認為我的伴侶是個不對的人嗎？也許她不適合我。我該另外找一個。
Q: Punditji,do you think I am with the wrong partner? Maybe she is not the one for me and I should just find someone else?⋯⋯
古儒吉：假如你知道如何划船，你就能駕馭任何一條船；但是如果你不知道如何划船，換船隻是沒有用的。改變關係並無法解決這個問題，總有一天，你在任何關係裡又會陷入相同的情況裡。
大部分的人都在到處找尋一份完美的關係，但是極少的人會去觀察自己的內在深處，那個我們連結的所在之處。你和自己的關係是什麼呢？對你自己而言，你又是誰呢？
如果你的關係是建立在個人的需求上，它不會持續太久。一但這個需求滿足了，不論是肉體層面或是情緒層面，心智將會到別處去尋找其他的物品。如果你的關係是來自於分享的層面，那它就可以維持久一點。
問：通常人都是在尋找一份可以滿足某種需求的關係，那有什麼問題嗎？
古儒吉：當你從伴侶身上尋求安全感、愛和安慰時，你就變得軟弱，你是個接受者。當你軟弱，所有的負面情緒會出現，你會變得索求無度。對人索求就破壞了愛。假如我們只知道這一件事，我們就足以挽回我們的愛，讓它不致腐敗。是我們對自己有限的覺知，對愛有限的經驗，讓你困在一個小小的空間裡，讓你感到窒息。我們甚至無法掌控我們所尋求的愛，因為我們從來不曾深入探究我們的心智、我們的意識。
（取自Michale Fischman 著《Stumbling Into Infinity》
Sri Sri: If you know how to row a boat, you can row any boat. But if you don’t know how to row, changing boats won’t help. Changing the relationship does not solve the issue. Sooner or later, you will be in the same situation in any relationship.
Most people look everywhere for a perfect relationship, but few look deep within themselves, to the place from where we relate. What is your relationship to yourself? Who are you to yourself?
If your relationship is based on personal need, it may not last long. Once the need is fulfilled, on a physical level or on an emotional level, the mind will look for something else and go somewhere else. If your relationship is from the level of sharing, then it can last longer.
Q: People often find relationships that fulfill certain needs. What’s wrong with that?
Sri Sri: When you are looking for security, love, and comfort from your partner, you become weak. You are on the receiving end. When you are weak, all the negative emotions come up and you become demanding. Demand destroys love. If we just know this one thing, we could save our love from getting rotten. It’s the limited awareness of ourselves, the limited experience of love, that encapsulates you in a tiny compartment where you start suffocating. We can even handle the love we are asking for because we have never probe into the depth of our own mind, our own consciousness.
