世界盃和霍金訪港，可算是香港近日的盛事，但我從網上竟看到有球評家能將德國隊的表現名之為“德國的宇宙爆炸論” (Germany’s Big Bang Theory)，不知霍金看見此文後又可會寫一本 “Soccer in the Nutshell”呢?
想自己也曾用宇宙大爆炸來形容蔡明亮的電影，心中滿是好奇地看一看這份球評，但再細看一下竟有點像卡夫卡的荒誕文筆。如當作者介紹德國圍攻波蘭不入的情況， “The atmosphere before the game had been tense, during large parts of the 90 minutes it resembled ecstatic hysteria, and when Miroslav Klose and Michael Ballack both hit the crossbar in the final minute it turned into an existentialist desperation Sartre would have been fascinated by.”
該場賽事德國積極換入多名攻擊球員如射入致勝一球的紐維利及10秒7奧當高，相反要必勝的波蘭則好像沒有什麼反應，作者便寫到 “There were two teams on the pitch yesterday night, only one of them played for a win, and paradoxically it was the side that could have lived with a draw.”
而作者也點出一個新的Paradox, Paradox of Poland at 2006 World Cup, Paradox 第一個論証為“When was their goalkeeper first cautioned because of time-wasting, after an hour? What was that all about? Either Poland were hoping Costa Rica would beat Ecuador, or they were convinced Ecuador would beat Germany - or they had resigned themselves to the fact they were crap and tried to get the hell out of this country with their hide halfway intact”
第二個論証更用上了千里達的領隊在其隊伍小打1人後的部署, “When Leo Beenhakker(The Coach of Trinidad)’s Caribbean kickers lost their left-back due to a red card, the coach took off a midfielder and brought on a forward (!), on the theory that the best form of defence is keeping the opposition busy in their own half. Nine out of ten coaches will tell you that this is good, sound, brave thinking, but only one out of ten will have the guts to actually try it. “
“Beenhakker was that tenth coach - and he got what he wanted. Poland’s Pawel Janas, however, substituted an offensive midfielder for a defensive midfielder (and a trained centre-back to boot) within two minutes of the sending-off. The result was that the Poles spent the rest of the game in or near their own penalty box - and got what they deserved.”
不得不服外國的球評家，這真的是一篇大開眼界的球評。忽發其想，若霍金真的會寫一本“Soccer in the Nutshell”，他可有本事像他改良宇宙爆炸論般重新演譯 “波係圓的” 這個套套邏輯呢?
Germany’s Big Bang Theory 全文:
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/columns/story?id=371253&root=worldcup&cc=4716
