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Absolute Love 全然純粹的愛
當我們經驗到這股來自對方的開放和溫暖的同時,我們也得到了滋養:它幫助我們也體會到自身的溫暖和開放,促使我們看見了自己本性裡的「美」和「善」。無條件的愛所散發出來的光芒,開啟了靈魂—這顆休眠中的種子—的潛在力量,協助它們熟成、開花、結果,也激發我們啟動靈魂本質中的獨特天賦,貢獻到生命裡。接受來自對方純粹的愛、關心和被看見,隱含了很大的祝福:它肯定了我們是自己真實的樣子(being who we are)、允許我們對自己說yes。
當兩個人看見了彼此,也感謝著彼此真實的樣貌,他們在那一刻就進入了Martin Buber所謂的”我你交融”(I-Thou recognition);Buder視這樣的狀態為”提供一種本質上的認可”:它幫助我們認清及感受我們真實的樣子。
使我們感覺到最大的肯定並不只是來自於感覺到被愛,而是來自於我們以我們最真實的樣子,被全然的愛著…我們,就是我們存在本質的表態,純粹的愛就是愛的存有(love of being)…
我們的存有(being)是一個動態開放的存在(presence)、本質上真正的樣貌,它比起我們的人格特質、痛苦或是矛盾等等,都還要更深更廣。當我們真正的感覺到歸屬、穩定紮根、以及和自己連結時,就能夠經驗這樣的存在感;紮實的根植在這股存在感的基礎上時,愛就能夠自由的透過我們而流動,而我們就愈能夠對其他人開放;當兩人都在這樣的開放、當下的狀態相遇時,他們也共享著純粹全然的愛。
然而,很重要的一點,人類的人性,並非為”純粹的愛”的源頭,此源頭來自於”宇宙萬物的起源”(the ultimate source of all),它的光穿越了我們而閃耀著,超越了我們所有的事物,我們是這股流動光芒的通道任其穿越,當這股光流穿透我們時,祂同時在我們身體裡面找到了家,居住在我們的心。
對於這股完美食物,其實在我們最深的本質中也有與其相似之物,那就是我們生命的血液;這也是為何所有的嬰兒在初生的那一刻,都會本能的向外探索;我們無法克制想要擁有我們原始天性的渴望。
當我們存在的價值和美被看見了,我們自然而然的就會放鬆、放下,融入自己;放鬆的同時,我們會放開,這樣的開放,使我們能夠清澈透明的讓生命流動於其中,就好像當窗戶被打開時,新鮮的空氣瞬間進入了房間一般;這樣的感受會帶來一種幸福感,以及純粹的力量,就好像D.H. Lawrence所定義的「生命沖進了我們」(life rushing into us)。
Martin Buber視這”我你交融”的片刻為一種舊有保護模的脫落,就好像蝴蝶破蛹而出。在純粹無條件的愛當中,我們經驗到能夠成為自己真是美好,活著真是美好,這使我們想要展翅飛翔,這股生命力的湧入,使我們感受到極大的幸福與喜悅。
由此,無條件的愛使我們得已放下,做回自己,幸福流動於我們的生命之中;誠如Brother David Steindl-Rast所形容的這股深刻連結的感受:「在那一刻,我們就只是單純的知道,所有的萬事萬物都屬於我們,只因為我們屬於所有的萬事萬物。」
這是人類的愛中最棒的禮物之一,這股流動給予我們甚至比人類親屬間更棒的東西,祂幫助連結我們體內活躍的生命力,呈現出我們本質中的美與力量,也因為我們面對生命是全然的透明,從而感受到與生命的合而為一。當生命全然的屬於你、而你也全然的歸屬於生命,將使你從飢渴和恐懼中得到自由,在你的經驗裡,你將感受到生命基本的的尊嚴與高貴,而無須透過任何人的批准或認可。在這種深刻的與生命產生合一感之下,你會了解到,你不是受傷的,並且從未被傷害過,也無法被傷害。
這就是人類存在的主要核心:純粹全然的愛幫助我們連結我們真正的本質;而祂(純粹的愛)也是生命中的不可或缺。
Love&Light, Shir Ra翻譯
摘自<完美的愛,不完美的關係:療癒心的傷>一書。作者:John Welwood
John Welwood是美國著名的臨床心理學家,心理治療師,善於整合心理學和靈性修行,以及東西方心理學
<PerfectLove, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart> p.33
by John Welwood
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Absolute Love 全然純粹的愛
Absolute Love
When we experience this kind of opennessand warmth coming from another, it provides essential nourishment: It helps usexperience our own warmth and openness, allowing us to recognize the beauty andgoodness at the core of our nature. The light of unconditional love awakens thedormant seed potentials of the soul, helping them ripen, blossom, and bearfruit, allowing us to bring forth the unique gifts that are ours to offer inthis life. Receiving purelove, caring, and recognition from another confers a great blessing: It affirmsus in being who we are, allowing us to say yes to ourselves.
When two people see and appreciate each other as they are, they share amoment of I-Thou recognition, as Martin Buber wouldcall it. Buber sees this as providinga certain kind of essential confirmation: It helps us know and feel that we are.
What feels most affirming is not just tofeel loved but to feel loved as we are. Aswe are means in our very being. Absolute love is the love of being.
Deeper than all our personality traits,pain, or confusion, our being is the dynamic open presence that we essentiallyare. It is what weexperience when we feel settled, grounded, and connected with ourselves. Whenrooted in this basic ground of presence, love flows freely through us, and wecan more readily open up to others. When two people meet in this quality ofopen presence, they share a perfect moment of absolute love.
However—and this is an essential point—thehuman personality is not the source of absolute love. Rather, its light shinesthrough us, from what lies altogether beyond us, the ultimate source of all. We are the channels throughwhich this radiance flows. Yet in flowing through us, it also finds a homewithin us, taking up residence as our heart-essence.
We have a natural affinity for this perfectfood that is also our deepest essence, our life’s blood. That is why every babyinstinctively reaches out for it from the moment of birth. We cannot help wanting our own nature.
When the value and beauty of our existenceis recognized, this allows us to relax, let down, and settle into ourselves. Inrelaxing, we open. And this opening makes us transparent to the life flowingthrough us, like a fresh breeze that enters a room as soon as the windows areraised. This brings a sense of well-being, as well as genuine power, which D.H. Lawrence defines as “liferushing into us.”
Martin Buber sees the moment of I-Thouconnection as the shedding of an old, protective sheath, like a butterfly’semergence from its chrysalis. In tasting pure, unconditional love, weexperience that it’s good to be ourselves, good to be alive, and this makes uswant to spread our wings and soar. This influx of aliveness coursing through usfeels blissful.
In this way, experiencing unconditional love allows us to rest in ourselves and the blissful flow ofour aliveness. As Brother David Steindl-Rast describes this deepconnectedness: “We simply know for a moment that all belongs to us because webelong to all.”
This is one of the great gifts of humanlove, this entry it provides into something even greater than humanrelatedness. In helping us connect with the radiant aliveness within us, itreveals our essential beauty and power, where we are one with life itselfbecause we are fully transparent to life. When life belongs to you and youbelong to life, this sets you free from hunger and fear. You experience theessential dignity and nobility of your experience, which does not depend onanyone else’s approval or validation. In this deep sense of union with life, you realize you are notwounded, have never been wounded, and cannot be wounded.
This is the bottom line of human existence:Absolute love helps usconnect with who we really are. That is why it is indispensable.
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