Eat, Pray, Love
** 今天是Memorial Day,陣亡將士紀念日,國定假日, 放假一天. 
好險,書店有開門,雖然只到下午五點,不過終究可以讓我有個安靜的地方看書,看窗外的人事物...涼風 / 陽光 / 一整個"今天放假不做事"的小鎮
(其實圖書館也有照常開放,不過那應該是傍晚以後的事....
大家都替我高興, 因為論文寫完了,可以開始 enjoy life...可是啊,可是,到底什麼才叫做enjoy life呢?? 我的生活還是沒啥大變化啊, 除了不用寫論文之外...
終於可以看自己想看的書是很棒沒錯,可是礙於沒有車, 我還是無法到"野外"去看一看...
換句話說,我還是被綁在這個小鎮,努力地在畢業前的最後幾個禮拜感受"小鎮之美"...從另外一個角度看, 如果發誓這輩子再也不到這種小鎮生活或唸書,在Hanover的日子,就真的是"即將絕版, 欲購從速"了)
正在看的書其實在兩個月前已經從Amazon購得, 以為會在寫論文的"需要轉移注意力的空檔"看它, 結果是連翻也沒有翻.
作者: Elizabeth Gilbert
書名: eat, pray, love
副標題: One woman's search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia
我並不想寫什麼書評, 況且書也還沒看到一半, 現在才看到作者在義大利的生活而已, 不過有不少文段吸引我一讀再讀,覺得那好像也是自己曾經經歷過的心情起伏, 覺得那好像是在描述台灣的人民與生活, 覺得心有戚戚焉....簡單與大家分享::
BOOK ONE 的主題是Italy, 作者先是經歷嚴重的憂鬱症與艱難的離婚過程,中間穿插敘述某一晚她在自家浴室中感受了"神"的存在之體驗,並且與某位"上師"有了神奇的對話與交流 (別誤會,我想這本書不是在傳教)...終於, 她決定去義大利,一方面是她正在學義大利文,另一方面是她想要試著去過"享樂的生活"
[WHY?? 我不禁問著,這些故事的主人翁總是到義大利去"追尋自我"?? 為什麼義大利人總給人一種"全世界最知道如何enjoy life的民族"之感?? 如果一個人的快樂與否取決於自心,那麼理當是不受外在環境影響, 不論是去義大利還是冰島,都應該會有相同的快樂啊....還是, 義大利早已變成那些經歷婚變的女人,尤其是女作家, 最喜愛的"療傷"之地?? ]
作者在前往義大利前有這麼一段心理掙扎:
"But why must everything always have a pratical application? I'e been such a diligent soldier for years--working, producing, never missing a deadline, taking care of my loved ones, my gums and my credit record, voting, etc. Is this lifetime supposed to be only about duty? In this dark period of loss, did I need any justification for learning Italian other than that it was the only thing I could imagine bringing me any pleasure right now? ....But I love it. Every word was a singing sparrow, a magic trick, a truffle for me. ...Just speaking these words made me feel sexy and happy. My divorce lawyer told me not to worry; she said she had one client who, after a yucky divorce, legally changed her name to something Italian, just so feel sexy and happy again. Maybe I would move to Italy, after all...."
* 這段文字帶給我的幾點思考是: [覺得我好像在寫"報告"喔...]
1. 能有這種"想法"的人都有一個共同點: 沒有經濟問題.
雖然談錢有時候很粗俗,不過 (這大概是我的"台灣個性"沒有消失) 卻也非常"實在"...我也學會義大利文,我也覺得它很美,很動聽,可是我卻不會想"去義大利生活然後順便學義大利文", 因為沒有"閒錢"做這種事....我只要能在下班後的時間,到補習班上義大利文課, 就很高興了....[突然想起不知道在哪裡聽過的一句話: "有錢人想的和我們不一樣"...]
2. 不過有件事倒是"舉世皆然": 我們都想要HAPPY....
只不過每個人追求HAPPY的方法不同...這時候"宗教力量"似乎很重要了,因為如果可以"無貪念,無慾求", 不就可以到哪裡都HAPPY嗎??
Elizabeth 可以孤注一擲, 為Happy而到義大利的自由豪情讓我想起前天看的電影<Waitress>裡的女主角...兩人一比,天差地遠.
電影裡的女主角, 不但有經濟困難,還有一個很*** 的老公, 住在一個比Hanover還要"那個"的小鎮, 在Diner當女侍,不開心地懷了孩子,唯一的心靈寄託是"動手做各種美味的派",最大的願望是參加全美做派大賽....My GOOOOOOOOOOOD, 人生啊人生, 看Waitress在生命苦難的夾縫中奮力活著, 再看Elizabeth,不禁讓我感嘆,這世界上有佛家教大家少慾知足, 甚至遠離紅塵,還真是大多數人的一大救贖啊--"達觀", 是個偉大的境界.
*However,Elizabeth的文字還是有其魅力, 繼續看下去:
作者刻意記錄著她與GOD的對話 [其實比較像是一個人真實地面對自己時, 自問自答自省的一個歷程,其中有些"觀念",我認為, 是各宗教信仰皆同的]:
"...Because--who knows? God might want me to be facing that particular challenge for a reson. Instead, I feel more comfortable praying for the courage to face whatever occurs in my life with equanimity, no matter how things turn out."
*抵達義大利之後,作者支身在語言不太通的城市所抱持的"學習態度"非常值得大家學習喲,她說:
"For someone who has always wanted to speak Italian, what could be better than Rome? It's like somebody invented a city just to suit my specifications, where everyone speaks this magical language. It's like the whole society is conspiring there; they don't mind. They have bookstores here that only sell books written in Italian....Everything was in Italian....There are spontaneous conversation classes everywhere..."
*我正看到的這個章節,Elizabeth比較著美國與義大利的"享樂態度大不同":
"While I have come to Italy in order to experience pleasure...Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to the theme parks to wars, but that's not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today <作者鐵定沒有去過台灣>...Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we gertburned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma. Americans don't really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype--the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax."
Well, 台灣人呢?? 很多人在Weekend還沒有在電視機前發呆的時間呢...但是台灣人看起來好像都很樂在其中...有一點至少是肯定的,無論美國人還是台灣人, 論起"享樂", 我們都輸給義大利人.
* 突然覺得,"享樂"這個題目可以成為一個不錯的文化研究論文題目耶
我要繼續看書了*****************************************************************************************
2007/6/1
繼續分享 Eat, Pray, Love
** 又是期末考階段...圖書館依舊湧入人潮, 現在我不用在一大早佔位子,反而是在書店看我的書和街上行人, 傍晚才進圖書館.
唯一的"風險"是, 非常可能會找不到位子; 像今天就有不少人"就地自習", 佔據地毯一角落,在那邊看書,寫報告,吃東西, 還有睡覺 (這樣描寫好像圖書館成了"戰地中心")
幸運地,我有一個位子...看我身邊的人全在為期末報告或考試奮鬥, 只有我,哈哈, 抱持一顆純學習的心, 帶著我的小說和法文書來看(沒錯, 我開始自習許久未用的法文...)還有,寫我的小記.
上次跟大家分享的那本書<Eat, Pray, Love>,已經看到一半了,現在作者正在印度"尋找自我".
她在一間"靈修中心"休養生息, 並試著繼續抵抗憂鬱症與各種心情變化, 當然,她也學著做瑜珈,打坐和冥想,並在書中讀者分享心得...
我是挺被作者的"誠實"感動的, 我每天帶著這本書在書店看,在草地上看, 在圖書館看...(因為中間夾雜著一些自己天馬行空的想法與發呆, 所以看書的速度並沒有想像中快; 不過,我在急什麼?? 我又不用寫報告,也不用寫論文, 完全就是純閱讀啊,那不是我一直喜愛的事嗎??)
**繼續跟大家分享這本書:
上次我好像提到一點享樂與經濟能力的關係,沒多久,作者就在書中說明, "並不是有錢人才可以享樂,只要認真活在當下,每個人都可以享受生活的喜樂"
(這種字句著實像那種"教人家如何過活"的書,也是我在台灣最討厭看的一種; 想不到, 我還是將Eat, Pray, Love這本書寫成"這付德性"...事實上,完全不是如此. 作者沒有用那種"告誡"或者"自以為是某個上師"的語氣教大家如何享樂 / 活在當下, 這是她的個人旅程, 所以還是以她個人的經驗出發, 不過這當中無可避免地存有"人性問題", 所以讀者很容易在其中找到自身的寫照或產生某種共鳴--尤其是作者"產生疑問"的時刻, 那幾乎是人人都曾想過煩惱過的相同問題,作者並不是要"提供答案",她述說身旁人事物以及她自己對這個問題的應頓方式,然後,真正的答案還是在讀者心中....說實在,我就是被她這些"誠實"的描寫所吸引, 甚至,也想在生活中實踐這樣的"概念")
Elizabeth寫她所領悟到的"瑜珈真諦":
"Yoga is about self-mastery and the dedicated dffort to haul your attention away from your endless brooding over the past and your nonstop woorrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence form which you may regard yourself and your surroundings with poise."
(我看我要去學瑜珈,不斷受制於過去且不斷擔心著未來一直是我"存有的狀態", 結果就是忘記了"現在"...
好比作者在書中提到的例子,她的好朋友去到一個很美麗的鄉間, 不禁發出讚嘆:"好美啊,我將來一定還要再來"...
作者問這個朋友:"可是你現在就在這裡啊, 為什麼現在不能好好享受它呢??"
對啊,有時候我也會有這種想法, 像是:"我就要離開Hanover了, 以後說不定都不會再回來了....", 那麼為什麼我不好好享受"現在我正在Hanover"的生活呢?? 說來奇怪, 這個小小的例子讓我嘲笑自己很久, 可能一直以來我都是這樣在生活的吧?? 回顧過去覺得不滿意, 瞻望未來覺得很恐懼, 至於現在嘛, 則是完全將它忘記, 真是太遭糕了)
作者到靈修中心的一大目的是:Discover who she really is.
哈, 這不是所有哲學家, 宗教家,不,每一個人,都想達成的目標嗎??
還有,每個人都希望達到"心靈的平靜",可是那看起來似乎是一個"唯有出家"才能達成的理想...不過Elizabeth在Meditation當中學到, The resting place of the mind is the heart...The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart.
作者人在靈修中心, 內心卻不斷受過去的一段戀情困擾,讓她無法"平靜". 她抱怨自己已經在義大利"休養了半年",現在又來到印度, 每天打坐靜思,作息規律,可是"情況仍不見改善",她還是想念她的舊情人,舊戀情, 還是常常一個人哭泣....一位伙伴勸她再給自己多一點時間,再給自己半年去"調理"這一切:
"Someday you're gonna lookd back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see taht you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world of it--in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India."
Elizabeth還是"放不下",她自認為她的舊情人,David是她的 soul mate, 既然是soul mate 兩人就應該在一起, 然後,這位靈修伙伴說了一段我看過最美麗的關於SOUL MATE的"解釋", (我覺得這一定要告訴大家, 尤其是正在尋找或者已經找到所謂SOUL MATE的朋友)
"...a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life....they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mate, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave....David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it."
(講得真是太讚了,不是嗎??)
然後,很自然地,作者與這位伙伴討論到 "Letting Go"...
"Sit quietly for now and cease your relentless participation. Watch what happens. The birds do not crash dead out of the sky in mid-fight, after all. The trees do notwither and die, the riverss do not run red with blood. Life continues to go on....Why are you so sure that your micromanagement of every moment in this whole world is so essential? Why don't you let it be?"
(看到這段文字,我還真的"反省自己"了一番...我想不能 let it be的理由大概有: 喜歡掌控一切的感覺 / demanding,尤其是對自己 / 害怕無事可做 / 自我中心 / 自私Maybe?? / 體內有太多勞碌命DNA / 有太多慾望Maybe?? / restless yearning.... )
這書真是越看越有味道,而且讓人思考多多,我就先分享到此吧.
(英文部分並未做拼字校正,打錯字的話請多包涵)
噢,晚餐時間,一堆人離開了座位... 
2010 年, 電影要上映了.....
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