Tonight, I reorganize some stuffs that I took from my ex-husband’s house.
Then, I found two necklaces that he gave to me before.
One was made of crystal, and he bought it to me in Valentine Day.
The crystal was colorful, and the shape was a flower within two leaves.
He gave that to me when I woke up in the morning,
and I was surprised , because he didn’t tell me at all.
I was so happy at that time.......
but now I feel sad.
The other one was a metal necklace, the shape was a lovely sea otter holding a shell.
He bought it in Silicon Valley, and he had a samll trip to Pacific Ocean.
He told me there were many sea otters,
they knocked the shell to eat,and they slept in the wrapped seaweed.
Then, he put the necklace in my neck,
in the small room near the college .
At that time we lived together,
and I waited for his coming back, so I was very happy,
because he remembered me , even in a far-away country.
But now I feel very sad, and couldn't help crying......
I always tried my best to be with him.
When I was a college student,
I took one hour bus to Hsin-Chu city for him almost every weekend.
When I was a worker,
I passed through the exams to enter the school of Hsin-Chu city for him.
I live in this city, just for him,
otherwise I would rather live in Taipei city.
We were very happy, and I was quite sure that he would give me happiness after I was deeply hurt by the married man.
I thought he really loved me, not only needed me.
So I chose to marry him to escape from another wrong relationship.
But, everything changed after I became his wife.....
”You shouldn’t spend your time to develop your briliancy,
you should learn how to be a good wife.”
”You should love my son, then I can love you more.”
”You should accept my mother’s thoughts,
because she is right, you are wrong”........
Then, I threw these two necklaces into the trash can,
although my tears wet the T-shirt......
Maybe I still love him,
because I cried so much.
Maybe I hate him,
because he gave me too many joys in the past.
How does someone make sure that his love will last forever?
How do you know that something won’t change in the future?
The most beautiful flower will fade into dust,
so how do you know that your passions won’t fade forever?
I am so sentimental,
maybe because I am naturally born to be sentimental,
maybe because I was hurt by bad experiences........
Tell me what can I do ?
How do I trust eternal love?
Love , is so fragile,
like a crystal necklace.
You held it in your hands so carefully,
but soon you have to throw it away,
not because it was broken ,
but because it would cause your heart to be broken.
I am weak as crystal now.....
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