My name is CharLIE Just need something to document a piece of my mind, for the peace of my mind

26愛的鼓勵 0訂閱站台

I wrote about dreaming of free-falling some months back
My conclusion was that it echoed some psychological falling

I didnt think I had the determination to do that, at that moment
Well, not anymore

------------------------------------------


去年

我生平第一次 滑雪板


在坐升降椅的時候
我了解到一件事


我沒有懼高症

可是
我還是很討厭在高空中停住不動
的感覺


如果
掉下去怎麼辦?


--------------------------------------


a few days before 2006 was over

I did something that I had never done before

Something so inevitable, it was just a matter of time


I hit bottom
Rock bottom


For so many years
I had had some tangled memory in my mind

Some sorrow, some regret


All of this vanished into thin air
When I hit bottom

All of this disappeared into oblivion
When I let go of everything


And
That was the most beautiful feeling
in the known universe


When there was sorrow
I couldnt help but concentrate on it
And pain arose

When there was hope
the flip side of it was the possibility
the possibility of disappointment

Expect nothing, receive nothing
It was hard to achieve

and luckily
It happened to me


It was the truest freedom possible

I have never been freer
I have never been better


Without bound, I am free to go anywhere
The future is now
Right now
----------------------------------------------

For 5 years
I lived with regret in my heart

Lived knowing that there were things I could have done better
Or things I wish I had done

That couldnt be a healthy thing, could it?


Not anymore


That night

The clock stopped
Time ceased to matter

We stood, face to face
eyes to eyes

Back to the place where everything started

And I told you everything I wanted to tell you
Things that had lied dormant within me for over 5 years


I could die right now,
knowing that I have told everything I wanted to tell
To everyone I have ever truly loved
(Not that I want to, my life is way too beautiful to give up)

And thats the greatest feeling

No more sorrow
No more regret
No more couldas, wouldas, shouldas.

There was only one truth
No more lies and cover stories





Letting everything go is easy
Just a state of mind

And yet, crossing that last line
took every last bit of courage in me


Hitting bottom is easy
All you have to do is slide

And then, gravity will do all the work


At the very bottom
The view was beautiful
The feeling of weightlessness
is simply unbelieveable

At the very bottom
There was nowhere else to go
Except up

I am going up

-------------------------------------------------


你說

五年來
你難過的時候
都會想起我

聽到這
我想
我該滿足了

The feeling is mutual, babe

不過
我希望
你快樂的時候
也可以想起我


而你說的
那平井堅的歌

對我而言
也有不一樣的感覺了


今後
每次
我聽到那首歌

我會知道
地球上的某個角落

有個人
聽著同樣的歌

想著同樣的事

真是種
美麗的感覺


謝謝你
讓我知道

我曾是你的最愛
你的一切

你
讓我這平凡無味的生命
無限美好

而
我說的話
有感動到你的內心


如此這般
我
夫復何求


再見了
這一切的美好

我準備好
往上爬
往前走了


吻別所有希望之後
剩下的
只有自由

無條件的大自由

而我內心深處
是無比的開心
無限的寬心

沒有更好的方法
開始新的一年了


謝謝
這是我
美麗的人生

-------------------------------

”消えてく蒼い空の影
降り積もる真っ白な雪
楽園に最後の華　彩るだろう

Let me fly　世界が終わる
その時には強く抱きしめているよ
You & I　指を絡め
愛を何かをここに残しいこう”




”藍天的影子漸漸消逝
潔白的雪降下而堆積起來
讓樂園裡最後的花朵　染上一片色彩吧

Let me fly 世界即將結束
屆時我也將緊緊擁抱妳
You & I 指尖交錯著
把愛或什麼都留下吧”


平井堅 樂園 (2001)
Paradise by Hirai Ken (2001)


(Coincidentally, the lyric of our favourite song speaks my heart, perfectly)













”There was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom”

Fight Club (1996)