My name is CharLIE Just need something to document a piece of my mind, for the peace of my mind

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Lately my Blues has gotten worse and worse

Especially in the mornings, or when I wake up from a long nap.
Immediately after I wake up, I feel this intense sense of blue all over me, top to bottom and indide out.

Sometimes it gets a little out of control I start having implusive movements and facial expressions.

Does it get out of control?
OR
It is simply me who refuses to control?




In my everyday life, I try my best to pretend, to fake.
I try my very very best to stay afloat.
And I am doing a great job outta it.


I appear poised, confident and always ready
But deep down I am scared shitless.

Just scared shitless.


On the other hand, I may be slowly falling in love with my sorrow.
Sometimes I cannot tell which version of me the real me is.

That very happy and chubby dude
Or
That well-spoken and well-posed young man with a hint (well, more than a hint) of Pessimism ?

One seems real, while the other seems alive.


On a slightly funnier note
Midnight blue singals sorrow
Morning blue is a symptom of depression

One of the many symptoms of this extremely overrated disease.
I don’t have it, and I never plan to get it.

I know it very well, I major in psychology, and I once had to fake it.

But most importantly, I was at its doorsteps long enough to smell what it smelled like.



I hope one day I dont resort to Lithium for salvation


PS: ”Midnight Blue Mica”is the factory color code of my car
Is this another little joke that life plays on me?

Life is a bitch


”What I really need is what makes me bleed”
Damien Rice - Volcano (2002)