Dara O'Briain!
雜一
之前我有想過，如果我可以嫁給一個棒球員那該有多好。大概是因為最近看了很多棒球和棒球相關的訪問，讓我覺得一些球員真的是人很好。再說如果身為家屬，一定可以拿到門票和球衣、帽子那些極其昂貴的東西（當然，那得要是嫁給Yankees才能成立，Sox的我才不要。）有時候看到那些商品的標價，再用計算機換算一下，就能了解洋基財團為什麼這麼有錢了。
這件實在讓人很有安全感。
但是，經果幾回邏輯推論之後，還是覺得不妥。因為一，當球員就會要打客場，常常要坐飛機，有點危險。二，我會無法隨便叫他洗碗到垃圾，在於球員其實是極為脆弱的生物。看球賽久了，會發現許多奇異的事情。例如，誰突然覺得背緊緊的，得休息一天；誰的肩膀今天脾氣不好，不能投球；誰的腳踝在某種奇異的情況下扭到了，得動手術。種種證據都顯示了這些人的易碎性。所以如果我嫁給了一個棒球員，我得小心他搭電梯手被夾到（整季報銷）、洗碗手被燙到（整季報銷）、到垃圾被狗追腳扭到（整季報銷）、掃地打到自己腳趾（整季報銷）……所以，還是自己存錢買門票吧。
雜二
這季的前半部，Yankees有幾次低潮的滿嚴重。有一次又輸了之後，總教練Girardi跟大家開了一次會，像是精神講話這樣。後來他在The Joe Girardi Show上跟Michael Kay重述了那天說的話。我覺得還滿有道理的。
Guys, look, we are a good team. […] This is not gonna last. We’re gonna hit. You guys are too good not to hit. Continue to pitch. Make sure we do the little things. When you’re struggling offensively, don’t let the little things go aside. Your defense is important. […] This is gonna turn…when it turns, it’s gonna turn big. So, believe in yourself, pick each other up, and don’t try to do too much. Most important—don’t try to do too much.
我真的覺得他是個好總教練。感覺有親和力，平常滿溫和的，長得也很像外星人。雖然他偶爾會生氣（一生氣就很可怕…不過那通常是在跟本壘審爭論的時候），講的笑話很少人懂，而且他的笑法是一種我原本以為只有五歲胖小孩能擁有的那種，但我覺得大家都還滿喜歡他的。
雜三
（一個訂做星球公司的文宣...我真的懷疑我寫這個的理由）
You will think that having a private island as your luxurious get-away is the ultimate happiness. You are wrong. Introducing the latest trend, the most advanced of technology and a whole new level of recreation—customized planets.
We, Macrofirm co., are proud to present to you the best team in artificial landscaping. We have groups of topnotch sculptors led by genius designers—the Ramon Award winning basin-architect Tangent Goo, this year’s Bobson Prize Forest-planner of the Year Taojin Ramiro, the head of the Llaja Sea Bed Designer’s Association Echo Ginkgo and many more—whether it’s a gas giant or a Pluto, we have the arsenal to make it. All you have to do is simply describe your dream planet, and we’ll have it done and floating for you in no more than three solar-years. You can come visit our factory floor and check on your planet at any time you want—though our advice is not to go when they’re testing storm—and you can supervise the making of your own planet yourself. In the end, if you are, in any way, unsatisfied about your planet, just call, or send a hyper-mail, to a branch of our service station near you, and we will be there in no time.
Our old boss always says: “You can create the most memories on your own planet.” We firmly believe in that, and we long to see people all over the Galaxy have great times on their special planet. We strive to make sure that every “planet dream” can come true. We work hard every single day to keep our quality at its best. You can trust your planet to us—we will deliver.
Order now just call “Texas Ni Ni Aug” or send forms via hyper-mail to “Macrofirm.”
蛀一
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fme-kzS3DuI （Fall Out Boy -- What a Catch, Donnie）
蛀二
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxQhLZ5bMyQ (Dara O'Briain -- Controlling Children)
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