昨天晚上跟一個最近比較熟的同學去晃晃
然後聊起了那個讓我很過意不去的女生
他說之前跟她聊了很久
"其實她真的很在意。"
然後我想起從那天在天橋上之後（已經是兩年多前的事）
已經很久沒有跟她好好講話了
聽著一件件模糊或清楚的陳述
回想著我過去每一個不成熟的決定
明明知道不可能在一起卻又一直沒說清楚
直到最後都心力交瘁
然後又沒有勇氣說清楚 到底擱在最底無法跟她說的是什麼
只因為之前在閒聊時：
我問："如果你知道你最好的朋友是同志，你會怎麼想？"
她說："我想我大概很難接受吧。"
然後似乎就看見無法和解的可能
到現在她已經有了男朋友
還是覺得過去我們那一段是影響她很大的一件事
於是我又再度的內疚
有一個好女孩從此對世界上另外一半的人失去期待
就算他現在身旁已經有一個人願意陪他
昨天在城市光廊的周邊喝著TwoDogs斷斷續續的聊著
荒謬的是
我除了罪惡感之外毫無其他情緒
除了苦笑之外擺不出其他表情
同學還以為我 -- 跟班上其他的人一樣 --
是很帥氣的拒絕了她
痛苦的舊事真的不能翻出來
尤其是當你不是那個最痛苦的主角
今天早上早起燙要借給人的襯衫
回來之後還沒有九點
廣播開著躺在床上
衣袖蓋住演前的滿室光亮
然後做了幾個無法控制的夢
不論什麼時候醒過來的時候都有背景音樂
然後再昏去
但是當音響傳出這首的時候
我真的就回到這個世界了
從聽過原聲帶之後對這首一直很有印象
查了才知道原來是99'葛來美的得主
之前一直以為是U2的歌
所以又一次次的錯過
- Goo Goo Dolls
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
文章定位：
