"I'm a man of my
convictions, call me wrong, call me right.You may not know
where I'm going, but you sure know where I stand." - Toby Keith
In the world of romance, one simple rule applies: Make the woman
happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes
and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, but
that's the way the game is played.
Guide to the Point System:
SIMPLE DUTIES:
You make the
bed (+1)
You make the
bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the
bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to
buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with
Beer (-5)
You check out a
suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a
suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a
suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it
with iron rod (+10)
It's her cat
(-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS:
You stay by her
side the entire party (0)
You stay by her
side for a while, then leave to chat with an old
school friend
(-2)
Named Tina
(-10)
Tina is a
dancer (-20)
Tina has
silicone implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY:
You take her
out to dinner (+2)
You take her
out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a
sports bar (-2)
And it's
all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports
bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the
colors of your favorite team (-10)
A
NIGHT OUT:
You take her to
a movie (+1)
You take her to
a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to
a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to
a movie you like (-2)
It's called
"Death Cop" (-3)
You lied and
said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE:
You develop a
noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a
noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it
(+10)
You develop a
noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and
baggy Hawaiian
shirts (-30)
You say,
"It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8,000)
THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks,
"Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points just because
she asked)
You hesitate in
responding (-10)
You reply,
"Where?" (-35)
Any other
response (-20)
COMMUNICATION:
When she wants
to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying
what
looks like a
concerned expression (0)
You listen for
over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for
more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV
(+500)
She realizes
this is because you have fallen asleep (-4,000)
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