Keep me alone. No more noise.
I long for completely dead silence. No one around...
I know my family have left for the funeral. Last night I pleaded to stay at home, and I cried. They said nothing, and let me go back to my room. I stayed here till now, but nobody came. They should be tired enough, and did not have any energy to urge me to go.
The house is empty now.
My soul is also empty.
Once again, teardrops run down over my cheek and rest on my pillow in silence. I let go of it. Outside it's a morning with too much sunshine. Mockingbirds giggle. Sunflowers smile. Trees laugh. Air teases. They are snobbish and inconsiderate. They see me, but abandon me.
Grandma also abandoned me. When she has disappeared from this world forever, I keep asking myself now and then if it's only a nightmare. She is going to a place far far away, and I believe sooner or later she will be back. She knows me well. I will wait. And I can wait.
I cannot admit and accept she is leaving me for the Heaven. Yet, father did not say many words. Mother did not cry much. Somehow, I think they were released from Grandma's death.
Grandma had been suffering from Diabetes for more than 10 years. I remember she gradually became very very weak as if she could not support herself to walk a short way in her last days. Touching her skeletal hands, I could feel her rough bones beneath a paper-like skin. Yet her eyes still gleamed when I sat down by her side on her bed and talked to her before she went to bed. I told her my school life, my friends, my experience outside the school, my dreams and my future. She loved to hear everything from me. We were real close friends.
This is the room we shared for the rest of my life. I don't know if she is still lingering around. Maybe she is now sitting on the floor beside my bed, looking at me, soothing my back, telling me she is fine. The life in the Heaven is comfortable and wonderful. The people there become her good companions. She does not feel sick again. No more pain...
Teardrops again. I should be thankful and joyful she has been set free.
(Published in HKedCity)
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