想說服別人,態度很重要
作者:Economist Newspaper Style matching is risky because it res ponds in kind to difficult negotiators’ behaviour and “who started it” can ea sily get lost in the fog of insults and threats. It can work, however, if carefu lly controlled. For example, a bitter st rike may have to be fought out to the fi nish (or look as if it is going to be) to bring the strikers to their senses a nd back to the negotiating table. Of cou rse this could go horribly wrong, partic ularly if the strike (or terrorism, and so on) becomes the supreme issue inste ad of the merits of the case or the prin ciple of trading.
用相同的舉動來應對有其風險,因為以同樣招數回敬時,常會在一片混淆的侮辱及威脅聲中搞不清楚「誰是始作俑者」。但若能小心地控制,這種方法也有能成功的時候。舉例來說,面對無情攻勢的時候可能須得要奮戰到最後一刻(或是表現出一副奉陪到底的姿態)才能讓攻擊者省悟過來並且回到談判桌上。當然,這麼做也有可能會把事情搞砸,尤其當此項攻擊(或者是恐怖主義之類的)變成談判的最終議題,反而忘記了案子的實際利益或是交易方針。
The purpose of style matching is to av oid constructive submission and to leave open the alternative route to a settlem ent.
Style contrast is also risky because t he contrast in styles could be read by d ifficult negotiators as constructive sub mission, in other words they perceive th at you are submitting in all but name. I nstead of responding in kind to their ou trageous behaviour you should:
以相同模式與對方抗衡的目的在於避免為了省事而屈服,並且保留了以其他方式達成協議的空間。
採用與難纏對手對照的模式也有一定的風險,因為有可能會被他們解讀成因為怕麻煩而作出的屈服。換句話說,他們會認為你骨子裡其實早已投降,只不過口頭上不說罷了。與其針對他們無法無天的行為做出相同的反應,你應該:
1.speak more quietly than they do;
2.speak more slowly than they do;
3.give way to their interruptions, but pause for a few seconds each time they finish;
4.not respond in kind if they swear;
5.not argue with their attacks on you and their apportioning of blame;
1.說話態度比對方更溫和;
2.說話速度比對方更從容不迫;
3.允許對方插嘴,但是每次當他們講完之後先停頓個幾秒再繼續;
4.當他們口出穢言時不以其人之道還治其人之身;
5.他們攻擊並把責任歸咎於你時不與他們爭論;
箧apportioning:分派
6.not defend yourself against ascribed motives;
7.ignore all threats;
8.respond positively but specifically and without rancour to any blue moves th ey make, even in the midst of their Red- dominated activities;
9.not respond at all to their Red move s, other than to say "no";
10.affirm whenever appropriate the two principles on which you will agree to a solution (merits of the case and tradi ng).
6.當他們一口咬定你的動機之時不辯護;
7.對所有的恐嚇威脅置之不理;
8.即使是在一片紅色的行為當中,還是既往不咎地對他們的藍色舉動做出正面而確切的回應;
9.對於任何紅色的舉動,除了說「不」之外不作回應;
10.在所有適當的時機向對方再度聲明,要你同意一個方案,必須具備兩個原則(案子本身的好處以及交易互換)。
箧ascribe:歸咎
箧rancour:怨恨
Your assertive Blue message will event ually get through.
‧Toughness is not a synonym for shout ing abuse, threatening and intimidation.
‧Toughness is based on an absolute an d patient firmness of purpose, saying, i n effect, that you will get absolutely n othing from me unless I get something fr om you.
對方終將感應到你所傳達出的藍色自信。
‧態度堅定不等同於訴諸不公平待遇、脅迫及恫嚇。
‧態度堅定是建立在對目的有著一種絕對的、堅忍不拔的牢固信念之上。表現出來的是一種要是你不給我些什麼,那麼你從我這兒是絕對得不到任何東西的氣勢。
箧synonym:同義字
作者:Economist Newspaper
資料提供:貝塔語言出版之《經濟學人談判智典》
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