●Amore, ti amo tanto tanto
We sit together in the car.
The window is a mirror reflecting his weak face.
I hold his hands carefully and realize that he is still a little sick.
Pale as a weak cat trembling beneath my breathe.
She sits in the front of seat ,
and turns around her face handing me two chocolate balls.
The balls are wrapped by blue paper and named ”Bacio”.
”Bacio means Kiss, try to taste it.”
she is so happy to give me this kind of special chocolate balls, like a child who finally discovers the secrets of fairy tales.
She has the most beautiful smile in the world,
and everytime I cannot help calling her ”Bella”.
But she doesn’t know that I already tasted them two years ago,
I bought these chocolates in a nice shop of Roma airport.
For me, it’s a sad memory to taste them ,
not only because I wanna lose weight,
but also they recall me with the happy laughters of my colleagues while we tasted them in the office.
But we didn’t know there’s something inside.
”Open it, some messages are hidden inside.”
while he tells me , I cannot understand.
I always get stuck in my sad past,
and cannot help thinking my incredible destiny.
One chocolate ball is a sweet dessert for everyone,
but when I open it, a bitter smell comes out from my soul.
My tongue turns to be bitter as a cup of espresso.
He hands me a little transparent paper which is hidden inside the chocolate ball.
They use different languages to express this kind of message,
and offer a special meaning for the people who open it.
”It’s like a spell.” I smile to him,
just few minutes ago I try to explain the lucky bag when he bought it in the temple of Tokyo.
Within the lucky bag, usually a magical spell is hidden inside of it.
Keeping this kind of bag can prevent people from bad lucks.
”Loving someone deeply gives you strength.”
After I see his message, I smile to him again,
because his message is really like a spell for someone like him who was deeply hurt and couldn’t trust a woman anymore.
Loving someone deeply means marking the tattoo of love inside your chest.
Beautifully painful.
”keep it.”
He opens mine, and asks me to keep this kind of message seriously like keeping a spell in the lucky bag.
”No loving is a long dying.”
This sentence is like a summer thunder hitting my head.
Luckily my heart is still throbbing.
”I will never fall in love again.....”
.....my words are still murmuring in my ears,
but now when I look his pale face, like a wounded cat,
with chilly fingers, gloomy eyes, wet hairs, weak shoulders....
I keep my life alive maybe just for his pale even dying face.
Beautifully joyful.
”La vita è bella.... ” life is so beautiful....
when his mother speaks these words to me with passionate teardrops,
I am so deeply touched by its wonderful pronunciation.
Like A sweet melody resounds in my soul when I become weak again.
I hold his hands strongly ,
as well as keeping a spell that finally comforts my soul.
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