It’s weird when someone asks me “when are you going to die.”
當有人問我：「你什麼時候會死？」是很怪異的。
Well, I don’t know.
呃，我不知道。
When are you gonna die?
你什麼時後會死？
My name is Michael Oliveri.
我的名字是Michael Oliveri。
And I have some form of muscular dystrophy.
而我有一些肌肉萎縮症的狀況。
My mother’s brother had it.
我舅舅也有。
Because of, it’s in the gene pool and there was knowledge that it gets passed on through women.
因為那是在基因庫裡，那是從女性身體裡通過所得到的知識。
There was just always this probably a fifty-fifty chance that I would have it.
有可能50%的機會我會得到它。
They removed a little piece of my muscle from my leg.
他們在我的腿上取下一小塊肌肉。
I have a little scar, just to test it to make sure that I had it and tested positive.
我有一個小小的疤痕，去測試確認我擁有那種病，而測試結果顯示陽性。
My mother told me when I was six years old.
我媽媽在我六歲時告訴我。
I hated myself, I tried to kill myself much time.
我恨我自己，很多次我試著自殺。
I tried to, you know, I tried to do whatever I could, to not be me.
我試著，你知道，我試著去做任何我可以做的事，不去當自己。
I hated me.
我恨我自己。
I hated everything about me.
我恨關於我的所有事。
I tried everything from, you know, swallowing a bunch of pills to, you know, putting a bag over my head and slitting my wrists.
我試過任何事，你知道，吞一串藥，你知道，把袋子蓋住我的頭和割我的手腕。
Yeah, everything, just anything to get to done.
對，所有事，只要是結束生命的任何方法。
A lot of this happened when I was, you know, 10, 11, 12.
那些事情發生在我10、11、12歲的時候。
Those were really really dark dark angry, just bitter with everything, because nothing make sense at all.
那時候真的真的很生氣，對所有事感到怨恨，因為沒有任何事是合理的。
I don’t want that.
我不想這樣。
I don’t wanna to be in a wheelchair.
我不想坐在輪椅上。
I don’t wanna not live to be go.
我不想要死亡。
I don’t wanna have to explain myself what I wanted to happen was I wanted to feel sorry for myself and I did.
我不想要解釋我對自己發生的事感到抱歉，而我做到了。
And one of the biggest fights I ever got into with my father was when he said “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
其中我曾經和我爸爸最大的一次爭吵是當他對我說：「停止對你自己感到抱歉。」
My biceps are pretty much, you know, done, pretty much, not there anymore.
我的二頭肌已經，呃你知道，再也不是二頭肌了。
And for some strange reason it pulls in the arms with it.
而有些奇怪的原因它在我手臂拉扯著。
So my hands and my arms have been continually becoming more and more, well, less and less open.
所以我的手和我的手臂已經屢次的越來越短。
And affect everything to the point where when want to rotate my arm a little bit I have to rotate the entire thing.
而影響到的是指向某地方，當想要旋轉我的手臂一小部分時我必須旋轉整隻手。
I could put a watch around my biceps.
我可以放一個手錶圍繞在我的二頭肌。
I’m 24 years old.
我24歲。
And my grandma who visited from Egypt, she’s stronger than I am.
而從埃及來拜訪的我的奶奶，他比我還要強壯。
The truth is I am in agony all the time.
事實上我常在痛苦中。
I wake up with nausea from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep.
我感到惡心時起床，第二次的起床第二次的睡覺。
I have three compressed discs and I’ve gone to chiropractors for years.
我有三張扁長型的唱片，我已經去脊椎按摩師那裡多年了。
I had, I think, 27 epidurals, I have had every single legal narcotic for pain managment and every single one of them has just been a drug that has made me become a drone.
我有，我認為，27個硬膜，我使用其中單一合法的麻醉止痛和其中一種藥品，
他使我變成一個懶惰者。
I had to go to my professors and apologize and say “I’m really sorry, I probably going to fall asleep in your class and it has nothing to do with you and has nothing to do with the subject matter, I am more than interested, I just , I’m on morphine.”
我必須去跟我的教授道歉且說：「我真的很抱歉，我在你的課堂上幾乎快要睡著了，卻沒跟你說也沒在聽科目的內容。我有很多興趣，但是，我正在服用嗎啡。」
I don’t know how else to put it and the doctors always say “Your not supposed to have pain with muscular dystrophy.”
我不知道還可以加進其他什麼東西，而醫生總是說：「你不是在猜想肌肉萎縮症有什麼症狀。」
And I tell people all the time this is not a muscular dystrophy related pain.
我時常告訴人們這些不是肌肉萎縮症的有關的疼痛。
My pains are self created pains, because I decided to live fully and I decided not to take the easy route of sitting in my room and going and taking it easy.
我的疼痛都是自己製造的疼痛，因此我決定活的很充實，且決定不去做像坐在我的房間裡如此簡單的行程，去做然後放輕鬆。
I decided to go out there and risk falling and risk getting injured and risk everything because I think it’s worth it to risk anything for life , to live a fulfilled life to live a complete fulfilled life you got to take risks.
我決定出去然後冒著墜落的危險和冒著受傷的危險和冒著所有事情的危險，因為我認為那是生命中冒任何事危險最糟的，活一個充實的人生去活一個完整充實的人生，你必須去冒險。
What I’m doing now is taking my situation and I need to get out of the cold and just rolling with it and I’m going to take my time and just roll across the country and do what I do best, which is, I love to just meet people.
我現在正在做的事就是說明我的處境和花我的時間只為了去遊玩各個國家和做我做最好的事，例如：我喜歡去遇見人們。
Like I asid, because if the gift of muscular dystrophy I understand the value of people, I understand the value if relationships, the value of talking and experiencing.
像我說的，因為肌肉萎縮症著個禮物，我了解到人們的重要性，我懂了人際關係的重要性，談話和經驗的重要性。
And having moments and now that I’ve seen the response I’ve been getting and now that I see that people have been really… you know they tell me that their lifes are changed and that their lifes are different because of meeting me, then I want to meet everyone.
把握住時機，已經有回答已經得到了，而現在我看到那些人們已經真的…你知道，他們告訴我他們的生命在改變以及他們的生命已不同因為他們遇見了我，然而我想遇見所有人。
And I’m at the worse physical state of my life, I couldn’t feel anymore sick, but I’m having such an amazing time.
我在我生命中最糟的身體狀況，我不能感覺到任何生病，但我擁有一個如此美好的時光。
我好幾個月之前低英文聽力作業
寫最完整低一份...
Dear Michael,
How are you? I think you are great now. You had muscular dystrophy, but you learn a lot of things. I’m glad to see you’re growing up. You are smart. You choose the right way and you make me proud. Don’t forget the important thing, “Everyone is special in the world.” I love you, and God also loves you. We’ll always be with you no matter good or bad times.
Love,
Mom.
後續作業哇
以他馬麻低角度去寫信給他
超酷哇寫完超有成就感低說
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