視頻：雙性藝人Seth Nayes曲折故事：http://www.danlan.org/disparticle_48554.htm
圖文和視頻：金美翎 ( QQ空間 )
可能到了現在，你還是不理解這些到底是在反映什麼？！的確，這種複雜的畫面連他自己都很難解釋清楚。然而，這些正是他的真實寫照。他就是生活在美國中西部的雙性藝人Seth Nayes。
Probably until now, you still don't know what this story is about. Perhaps, he even has a hard time to explain all the complications. However, this is his true life story. His name is Seth Nayes, a gender queer who loves dancing and modeling.
Seth: I was raised by my mother, and two of her girlfriends, who are also girlfriends, so I had three moms. And any of the male figure is pretty negative one, which is in my world, the male is pretty negative one, so I always look at women as my lead, just for my perspective growing up as a child, so I think that's what made me a little bit in touch with that side, and also you are born gay , so I already had one too many X Chromosomes for my own good. So I ended up looking more feminine. So my whole life is kind of like being a girl, but also I did boys stuff, like love bugs, and bats and stuff. My mom got reintroduced to her high school sweetheart, and we moved to Lac du flambeau Indian Reservation. It was such a weird jump, going to the camping all the time with these three cool chicks, that knew how to pee standing on a boat, they were like power houses, building their own houses, doing everything that men could do, I guess with more of a heart, and without such a man's ego. I guess everything changed, because all the sudden I was separated from all of that. And my mom gave up my younger brother, because she didn't want to take both of us on this adventure, she was barely able to keep the house as it was.
Then we moved to the Ghetto, a street away from the project houses (Low income houses financed by the government) was my backyard, the project house and then the General Store, sometimes I had to walk through that trail through the Projects, just one trail through. I was consistently getting attacked, jumped and never fought one on one, it is always family against family but I didn't have family there. It was my mom and Mylow, which my step dad ended up shooting him because he howled at night, and now Mylow is gone. Then it was like a battle for learning how to live. You are in a separate world. Reservations are so sad, but then they made to be sad, there is hardly anything in it. Anything that is brought there is squandered quickly. These power figures (people), do what all power figures do and squander all the money for themselves. They screw over everything, and everybody that is lower than them. Just imagine, less money than that, on this reservation, you look like a white boy even though you are a middle eastern, or Irish, I have nothing to do with all that world, and actually both of those cultures should mind their own business, and everyone would be pretty fine, and drunk. Then I learn how to fight. For ten years, karate, Taekwondo, and amateur wrestling, and then professional wrestling because my whole life revolved around fighting, but now my life is all peace and love.
我從小被媽媽和她兩位女朋友撫養帶大，這樣一來，我共有3位媽媽。因此在我的世界裡，我只認為女性才可以做我的榜樣，而相比之下，男性就遜色了一點。可能是因為這個緣故，我從小生活在女性的世界裡，同時我也多了一個X染色體，生來就是同性戀。所以我看起來比較女性化。雖然我從小到大都想變成女孩子，但我也像男孩子一樣喜歡玩虫子什麼的。可後來我媽媽又跟她高中時期的心上人在一起了，我們搬到了威斯康星州的印第安保留地。我的人生跨越很大。以前總跟我的三位媽媽一起做男人喜歡做的事，比如說站在船上上小便啊，我們一起蓋房子啊。然而，這一切太短暫了，那樣自由的生活不久就結束了。因為經濟緊張的緣故，我媽媽放棄撫養我的弟弟。
後來我們就搬到了貧民區。我們居住地的後邊就是政府救濟房屋，在那旁邊就是一家非常簡陋的百貨店。在夜裡走路時，我們一家人經常碰到黑幫的人，在那裡，群毆是家常便飯。可是後來，我的後爸Mylow不幸遭遇槍殺遇難了。在那之後，我不得不學會如何自衛。那時候的生活真的非常艱難，有什麼東西很快就被搶光了。因為印第安保留地完全跟外界人隔離，像我這樣一個白人在那裡經常遭到種族歧視。十年間，我學會了空手道、跆拳道等自衛運動。我一開始沒想認真學摔跤，可後來卻成為了一名職業摔角手。以前的日子裡，天天就是打架，而現在的生活卻變得越來越和平了。
I guess I am over it now. I took from it a different purpose；to not live so desperately. It is really hard, because I haven't ran back home for years. I really need to visit my mom, but it makes me so sad to go back to that place, because it is so rundown, everybody is just stuck there. There are a lot of loving people there, don't get me wrong, but after rape and fighting, murder, and all the weird things , I just ran away so far from it, because it is not the home that I began with, it was just one of my experiences I had to go through to teach me something and make me stronger.
Once that happened, I went to Minocqua City, luckily with my best friends, that move took me away from the Indian Reservation and one become a foster mom and took me in which was so beautiful, and my mom let me go. My step father was very mentally and physically abusive and a drunken person. He was chemically challenged, and he had diabetes, and drinking alcohol on the top of that, and having an anger problem. It was a disaster. I finally had to leave my mom. I would get bounced back and forth between my family members, because there was so much crazy violence going on that they didn't want me there. But I would always talk to them to let me to go back with them. I had my mom's personality , so I always talked to my mom and say, "Mom, if you want me to come back to you, I would."
再怎麼樣，那些都是過去的事了。吃一塹長一智嘛！我不想再過那種絕望的生活了。我很久沒回我自己的老家了。我真的很想回去看看我的媽媽，可是那裡的生活真的很悲慘。雖說那裡有很多善良的百姓，但看過種種的群毆和屠殺後，我不得不選擇逃離。那塊保留地並不是我的出生地，那段經歷讓我變得更加堅強。離開那里之後，我就去了另外一座城市。我有幸被我的好朋友們收養，其中一位變成了我的領養媽媽。我的親媽媽也同意了。我的繼父是一個非常頹廢的人，醺酒、吸毒，不僅得了糖尿病，脾氣還暴躁。我的親人們都希望我離開那裡，因為他們不想讓我在那種悲慘的環境中成長。但我總想幫助他們點什麼。我的性格像我媽媽，所以我總是跟媽媽通信往來。
I wanted to take over the world. I wanted to go everywhere and experience everything. I wanted to be normal and not viewed as a freak show. Because I look incredibly feminine and I feel that people treat me differently due to my appearance. I see myself traveling the world trying to dance in every single city that I can before my knees go out. To dance everywhere. Then I can know that my feet have "spun" on the whole world. It would feel good and I would get enjoyment from it. Right now I'm a very happy person because I came from such darkness and I want to spread happiness, glitter, fairies and love to the world. I want everyone to love me and each other. I feel like a hippy "love child."
我很想踏遍世界、開闊視野。我也想要過正常的生活，而不只是困在怪人表演的生活裡。因為我女性化的外表，外人總會另眼看我。我希望在我身體靈活的時候遊走其它大城市做一些舞蹈表演。如果我能夠用我的雙腳跳遍這個世界就好了，這是我最大的夢想。如今的我每天抱著樂觀的心態，因為和我不美好的過去相比，現在我這七彩的舞蹈世界讓我對未來更加嚮往。
Unfortunately doing what I do with my dancing and all the misogyny in the world and especially in the Gaycommunity it's been a very lonely journey, but as far as the type of person that I see myself with or that would be a good partner would have to be someone that is self-absorbed in being a real man. It seems weird that I would be thrown into a different type of person.
說實話，我這條路走得很艱辛，因為同性圈還是被很多人看成是怪圈。像我這樣雙性都走的同志想找到適合自己的伴侶是不容易的。當別人對我的性別弄混淆時很容易造成誤會。
I guess I'm like a paint blob that runs off in different directions as a free spirit. I can't take on all the projects that I want to at once, but my mind is running a million miles a minute all the time - well that's too fast, ha ha ha. The burlesque community and artistic community is a very fun and magical world. But as far as a love partner, I guard my heart but I want to let everything of me show being a female, a male and they are all the same person that enjoys laughing and being wacky. The world is serious and I'm aware of the corrupt issues that are happening. But I try to make my life full of magic, fun and dancing and try to live it to my purest heart.
我就像潑濺的顏料一樣，無拘無束可以走這麼多的路子。我不能同時做所有的事，但是我的大腦可以在一分鐘之內飛速地旋轉。哎呀，那樣太快了，哈哈！夜裡做舞孃，白天做藝人，這樣的生活很有趣。但如果說到戀愛的話，無論我是什麼性別，我都是一個積極向上的人。我也是個很現實的人，知道這個社會黑暗的一面。然而，我就想像小孩子一樣，用一顆純真的心面對這個七彩的世界。
What do I want? I feel that people on their death bed they go through life wondering what other people are going to think of them, like living their lives in a cage like a bird. People are living for the word of what someone said so many year ago (Jesus Christ) but no one is certain what he (Jesus) said. This causes people now to create hate from his words. We should be working together and the world will not have the problems we have today. That's what I would like to do, to stand up against those that are on power struggle and use sunshine and happiness to stand up against the bastards of the world.
我想要什麼？有很多人活著的時候都在琢磨其他人怎麼看他，一輩子都像籠中的小鳥一樣。有很多人都想听從上帝的安排，可他們自己的生活卻一塌糊塗。我們應該互相幫助，那樣才會減少困難。那就是我想做的。我想幫助更多的人，堅信自己，站穩自己的腳跟，而打造美好的未來。
作者簡介
金美翎，美國90後華僑女生，芝加哥知名模特兒、雙語媒體記者、瑜伽紅人、圖片和視頻後期製作及美食愛好者。她在騰訊教育博客頻道發表的博文深受讀者喜愛，為華人展示了發生在美國社會的種種生活樂趣，讓更多人了解華僑在美國的生活。曾入圍中國網民文化節博客大賽總決賽，被評為“騰訊新銳教育紅人”。她於2013年創立自己的媒體平台“美翎工作室”(Studio Meiling)。
美國酷兒藝人Seth Nayes寫真
(以上文、圖、視頻均由美 翎工作室授權淡藍網發布，轉載請註明作者和來源。)
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