這是我們在同一個時區 同一個國家的情人節
而我們正在經歷調適彼此的階段
有衝突 有甜蜜 有歡笑 有淚水
習慣了一個人的生活 突然有一個人走進你的生活領域
一切原本熟悉的生活方式不斷的受挑戰
我們剛開始一起讀一本婚姻生活的書
Saving your Marriage before it starts
By Les & Leslie Parrott
書名聽起來有點嚇人
啥!我們才結婚四個月 就要"搶救婚姻"了嗎?
讀了前言真的讓我發現 "溝通"在婚姻裡真的是很重要
這本書包括一人一本的手冊就是讓我們檢視彼此的想法觀念
甚至是那些來自原生家庭的生活習慣 讓彼此互相了解
當我讀到前言中所提起的我們都精心策劃安排婚禮
花下大筆金錢 精力 時間在那一天的婚禮上
但我們之中有多少人花下相對的時間和精神去了解和經營婚後的生活?
我自己也常在想:
每一對新人在風風光光的婚禮背後 接著而來的是生活的現實面
再也不是公主與王子從此過著幸福快樂的日子
那些金錢和氣氛所營造出來的浪漫和美麗
都將活生生的化為柴米醬醋茶
而仍然在甜蜜中的新人是不是準備好去面對這一個殘酷的再教育呢?
當我們在婚前一起讀的婚前諮商書籍時
我們就討論到彼此對另一方的期待
那時的我們得知對方的期望
當下的我們完全沒有想到這對我們倆的婚後生活會有多大的影響
那時的我們單純的想法是牧師建議我們一起讀那就讀吧!
但是當活生生的被彼此的期望落空所帶來的挫折感打醒時
我們才真正的去正視了解對方的需要和期望是刻不容緩的課題
今年的情人節好似為我們彼此的關係進入更成熟的階段下了一個註腳
讓我們記得除了浪漫與愛情
婚姻生活中有更多的包容 了解 體諒 和 接納
For my big bear,
Thanks for the understanding and acceptance. I know that I am not always a lovely person. Sometimes, I could be so difficult to be loved but you still accept that part of me. When you had roses and showed up in the classroom, I was totally shocked. It is my first time in my life that someone gives me flowers in public. I was glad that you didn't walk in the classroom in front of other girls, because I don't want to hurt any girl's feeling. (I still remember that I saw other girls having flowers but I never had one.) Thanks for being with me and helping me during this adjustment. I know it is tough for you to take care of me and also being the man of this family. I thank God that He brings you to my life and help me to see His love through you. I don't know how good I will be your wife, but I have the commitment with you and God that I will be your partner this life. And I will never forget those difficult time we have been gone through together with prayers and tears.
True love waits and grows.
Your little bear
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