愛麗絲．不夢遊 still alice

81愛的鼓勵 0訂閱站台

i always thought the way i interact with friends are always right
and that i am entitled for a lot in a friendship
the fact is that i’m just proven wrong so many times and never leaned from it
i really should’ve know no matter what kind of friend it is, i can never ask for more
i can treat my friends with all my heart and how they want to treat me is totally up to them

of course most of my friends are tired of me asking for more in a friendship that they just don’t feel like talking to me after a while
so in the end, i’m still a loner.
i guess i was born to be one.

sometimes i want to just give up on this so called ”friendship” with ppl around me
what exactly is friendship? i thought my definition for it is correct.
i’ll go all out trying to help my friends. i worry about my friends. when something good happen to them, i’m so happy for them. when they need me, i always try my best to be there for them.
what do i do all these for? just so a coward like me, hating to be a loner, can have friends and won’t be lonely.

after all these, i still get to be the loner. so what happened to all the effort that i put in?

all my friends miss me when i’m not around for a long time. somehow i’m just like the super thick chocolate that is too sweet that no one can have it everyday. once in a long time is the only way they like it.

i’ve been ignoring that fact just so i can feel better. but it turns out that i’m just in constant denial of the fact that i was born to be a loner...

so one thing i really have to learn about friendship is to never ask for more.

i need to have low expectations for all my friendships because that’s the only way my friendships would last.
but if friendship is a relationship where you cannot expect too much from each other, what is?

i hate the feeling of losing friends. i should’ve stick to my understanding of expectations: never expect a lot or only disappointment awaits you in the end.