Present I, in am not that pure I!
（現在的我，在也不是那個單純的我！）
Before, no matter how couldn’t I I all revolt in the helpless or am choke, but, present I am unable to withstand that kind to insult.Said insults is probably a little excessive, because should say is the insult (is not almost) perhaps, is I long-term such lets my resistant to compression be more and more high spiritlessly, to oneself did not know high how suppresses it.These days, because of have a vacation, but treat at home.Every day must always listen to the old mother always to read in that side always reads, who could receive me.。。baofa le! zhiqian di wo, yinwei xiang dang ge guaibaobao (bu xiang zaocheng ba ma di kunrao), danshi, you shui kan dao, you shui zhuyi dao wo yizhi keyi di ren, meici zhi kan dao wo di huai, you shui zhuyi dao wo di hao.I in yours eye only then bad? Each time you only can take elder sister’s good, comes to say to me! Then I good? You have see? Each time all said that,Can’t ’you look like your older sister such clever, obedient studying, do not have to let us worry about!’shit.。。How is this, you have note me? What has notes me to need? I no use to with helpless, you understand? Perhaps, I should walk toward that direction, I am must sing an opposing tune intentionally with you, how? I do not suit in work as a little darling, I am not work as little darling’s material, also does not look like you to imagine that well.Dyeing one’s hair.。。Perhaps is a very good choice, belongs to my life connection, I must let you know, my you imagine by no means that well.Each time, I only can lonely hiding cry in the bed sheet, because I do not do without authorization often to say in my heart to others the speech, so long as a saying, for many years constraining, the instant certainly can erupt, therefore I choose the escape, chooses oneself lonely hiding to cry in the bedding! Is not I is eccentric, is because I thought is to now at last I best method.After previous time has that matter, originally, I thought own face, but because pig pig’s crying! I am tenderhearted, a little bit matter said the pig listens for the pig, after but said some, I decided hides, is called the father to meet me to go home, I do not want to treat in the school.。。。Perhaps! This matter, let me think very for a long time, also let me think the clear very many matters, were not when the little darling might obtain everybody approval.The sob is not the only means, I was trying to find out continuously, present I, in was not before that pure I!
以前，不管我在怎麼無奈 我都不會反抗或者是嗆回去，但是，現在的我無法在承受那種汙辱。說汙辱好像有點過份，因該說是辱罵（還不是差不多）也許，是我長期這樣的懦弱 讓我的抗壓性越來越高，高到自己不知道怎樣把它壓制下去。這幾天，因為放假，而待在家裡。每天都要一直聽老母在那邊一直念一直念，誰會受的了 我。。。爆發了！之前的我，因為想當個乖寶寶（不想造成爸媽的困擾），但是，有誰看到，有誰注意到我一直刻意的忍，每次只看到我的壞，有誰注意到我的好。難道我在你們的眼中只有壞的嗎？每次你們只會拿姐姐的好，來跟我說！那我的好呢？你們有看到嗎？每次都說：『難道你就不能像你姐姐這麼的乖，乖乖的讀書，不要讓我們操心！』shit。。。這是怎樣，你們有注意到我嗎？有注意到我需要什麼嗎？我的無助與無奈，你們懂嗎？也許，我該往那個方向走，我就是故意要跟你們唱反調，怎樣？我不適合在當個乖寶寶，我並不是當乖寶寶的料，也不像你們想像中的那麼好。染髮。。。也許是一個很好的選擇，屬於我人生的轉捩點，我要讓你們知道，我並非你們想像中的那麼好。每次，我只能孤獨的躲在被單裡哭，因為我不擅常跟人家說我心裡的話，只要一說，多年來的壓抑，瞬時間就一定會爆發，所以我選擇逃避，選擇自己孤獨的躲在被窩裡哭！不是我孤僻，是因為我覺得這才是對我最好的方法。上次發生那一件事情之後，本來，我想自己面對，但因為豬豬的哭！我心軟，把一些些事情說給豬豬聽，但說了一些之後，我還是決定躲起來，叫老爸來接我回家，我不想待在學校。。。。也許吧！這件事，讓我想了很久，也讓我想清楚很多事，並不是當乖寶寶就可以得到大家的認同。哭泣也不是唯一的辦法，我一直在摸索，現在的我，不在是以前那個單純的我！
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