墮落慾望 decadent desire 一切都是為了理想 馬的理想

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my life is a mess.

i have no ideal how i could come this far, i mean knowing nothing to be done or something like that.

 

i couldnt even know how i screw up my life. if there is a life.

it's like you see everything in the mist, you can see a clue but not sure what exactly they are.

like wounds too close to each other, they wont heel unless you get a panacea.

and that is, everything in my daily life gets volune turning down.

i want to reach the bottom, i need a good fight or a good cry just to feel i am alive.

i wanna drink chemical waste, i wanna breathe smoke, i want holes on my body.

everything is getting the bottom except me. what a mess.