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2013-12-19 17:00:02| 人氣1,356| 回應3 | 上一篇 | 下一篇

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

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I may have found the reason for my continuous suffering, feelings of insecurity, feelings of non-belonging, conflicting feelings of being free and trapped...simultaneously.



I have things missing in the bottom ranks, but I want to be at the top level without fulfilling my basic needs, therefore the confusion, the inconsistency, the pain and suffering, and therefore the sense of meaninglessness I feel from time to time.

Pride tells me I need to self actualise - and everything I do I endeavour to achieve exactly that, being a higher being and create, problem solve, be kind and mindful of others less fortunate, be creative and spontaneously fun...I failed to realise, I can't keep up at that level, simply because I am failing to take care of my basic physiological needs.

I'm wanting to take leaps and bounds and reach that apex of existentiality, but how can I do that if I don't feel satisfied, nor safe, nor understand love and have a sense of belonging, nor have solid self esteem rise from fulfling all of the above? How can I fly, when my wings are clipped, my belief is waning, my stomach empty?

Is it wrong to pursue animalistic wants? Is it really vulgar to pursue money? Is it vain to want good house, good cars, fashion and taste? Why punish myself for it, thinking it's non-spiritual to pursue these things, why shouldn't these things co-exist?

Yes I realised my deep sense of insecurity, arise from my background, which gives me complexity and the depth to think beyond, but also trap me in a loop of ego and self deprecation.

I realised it will take me longer than a lot of my peers, to reach the level I envy and aspire to. The need for money and security in me is stronger than most people, and only in money, power, influence would I find security and self esteem to pursue higher things, such as human rights, creative explorations, helping others.

And on that note, I should forgive myself for being money driven, for feeling poor and insufficient, for being like a money hungry animal. Because it's something I need and desire, in my 20s.

If I could rise above the fundamental needs, perhaps in my 30s I can truly pursue something much closer to my heart and soul. This perhaps, is my path.

台長: Tempsfuit
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Maggie
I feel the same way as you and it's really tormenting. Self-criticism isn't healthy but we tend to do that all the time. We should simply forgive and accept who we are. I used to criticize myself a lot (still do sometimes but that's a bad habit that I'm trying to stop!)

Indeed, people want to pursue material/physical and spiritual success and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

In my case, I love the material world and what it offers (the comfort, security, freedom, recognition...etc) but deep down I'm seeking spiritual/meaningful things...我愛物質世界卻又不是那麼愛,因此之前常常為了理想vs物質在困擾
但糟糕的是又不正確知道自己的理想/higher things是什麼...是的..是幫助別人...creativity...
不像那些早早知道自己興趣/具體理念/calling的人

所以一直跌跌撞撞..做著自己不喜歡的工作(為了追materials)之前總覺得不逼自己等於原地踏步然後自我批判....

或許我只能邊做邊找尋 my inner callings, 只要有進步有前進,路途可能很曲折但eventually we'll get there.

I'm kinda lost for words..hope you understand what i'm trying to say :P
2013-12-27 20:57:43
陽光的笑
Of course I understand :)
一起加油吧
2013-12-28 23:17:42
Maggie
既然入世了,就入世吧
2013-12-31 13:23:36
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既來之則安之
2014-01-02 23:07:46
是 (若未登入"個人新聞台帳號"則看不到回覆唷!)
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