Economic Models explained with cows
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you
some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you
some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one,
milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
herd multiplies,and the economy grows. You sell them
and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a
consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot,
and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow
cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years,eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42
cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high
bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country. You still have no cows, but
at least now you are part of a Democracy....
SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
take harmonica lessons
HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly
listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank. Then you execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for
keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows are
transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman
Islands company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder. He sells the rights to all 7 cows’ milk
back to the listed company, and proceeds from the sale
are deferred. The annual report says that the company
owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile,
you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.
NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You
close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
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