After long research and compare family disease history, most likely I have what dad had as Vasculitis.  If that is true, I only have 60 days to live compare how dad’s illness progress.  My upper right leg shown red rash since April 7^th, till April 9^th I believe all signs point to Vasculitis.

 

I accept it as the final result, my dad must be felt lonely and he wants me to join him.  He passed away due to Vasculitis on December 2^nd 2016.  The last email I received from him September 20, 2016 (Taiwan 105) at 1048am.  He explained how he got back from death door during emergency room visit.  He told me that over 70 years that this was the first time he ever suffered such unbearable pain.   Now, it is my turn.  He went back to the hospital in October and he went through all treatment plans. Finally he left as his spirit also had gone without any hope in him  The last phone conversation after he got back from the hospital we had and now it is also the last time I ever heard his voice.   I set my time clock for 60 days.

My first regret would be that I don’t have a chance to watch my son’s college graduation.  My second regret should be breaking my mom and my family two years promise to meeting them.   My third regret could be I will never fulfill my dream in this life time.  Last night beside pain from  my red rash and also added into muscle pain.  I knew my life is numerous.  Vasculitis could progress either slow or quick; I hope I have quick one.  So far that I only told my husband, but he seems not believe in.  Vasculitis is also genetic disease.  I shared my finding with a long time college friend.  I will have to let him mentor my son when I am gone.  Since March my financial crisis hit us, I did not know my health hit me twice hard.

I have been trying all methods to cool my rash  down from ice patch, egg white,  so much more.  As I have deiced that I will not undergo any medicine treatment, but I do still taking some medicine to make me feel less pain.  Taking 2 tables of Allergy medicine as Antihistamine to temporary relief my allergy symptoms since April 7^th.  Adding Alphamox 250mg 1 table started April 10^th because my muscle weakness.  In addition, I cooked heart juice that included ginger, garlic,  lemon juice and apple cider vinegar added honey so I take twice a day; one  is in the afternoon and the other is at night time. 

 

                Count down to talking about my dying wish; 1. Help my husband to find a job 2. Find my sons’ mentors to help him when I am gone.  3. Write a good bye letter to my family and friends.  Sixty days very little time I have left with.  I don’t know how to say good bye.