Honey, I’m very happy today. Actually should be said happy last nigh, but I was too tired to think , until now I’m wide awake then can to think.
I have no self-confident in fact, because I was a super fatso before. When I was child I grow fast, very tall until junior high school period, eating more than exercise then getting fat. That was the fattest period of my life when I was a junior high school student, I had 65 kilogram.
I was the fattest child in my family, my young brother and young sister were tall and slim from their childhood, so they often ridiculed me. My brother even has said he was afraid let his friends came to our home, because his friend thought the children of our family must be all tall and thin after he saw my brother and my sister. So when his friends ask to came to our home playing , and my brother didn’t want to let his friends came.
As for my sister, she is very tall, slim and beautiful, many boys like her from hers’ childhood, so she sometimes also make fun of my figure. Some of my mother’s friends also like to compare my sister and me, and told me「I’m too fat , even fatter then my mother.」Besides my classmates also guy me, they told me, actually I’m very beautiful just too fat, and I was grow up from derision. That’s why I fear fatness and always lose weight to keep figure, because I really feel inferior and have no confidence.
In that time I thought the students’ duty was to study and play heartily, so I don’t care the my figure. And my schoolwork, art, athletic and all kinds of ability was not bad, sometime was sad for fat but during be a student I was very happy for the most part.
Until senior high school that I ate few , did exercise more and only ate vegetables or cracker of whole meal at dinner the control about 57 kilogram. After graduation I went to see a doctor and took a medicine then lose some fat, I also try any method, any antifat food, tea, tool and a little exercise to lose weight more. Anyway always have to control and lose weight, because to keep is more hard.
And why I feel happy today? One of my best friends she prepare to get merry, I will be hers’ bridesmaid, so we choose the bridal dress last night. After she chooses all of hers’ dress then in my turn, this is my second time feeling that I have a perfect figure. Not only any dress I can wear and look so beautiful but also the designer praise for my figure is pretty good, even my breast too chest to pull, but…that’s my proud I think.
I very care my figure but I don’t’ like the boys focus on my figure, especially the boy who I like. I’m a little curious and strange girl, I hope that I can keep slim and be a spicy girl, actually I am, and I also know men like slim girl, but if the boy which I like, he is too care my figure, weight body and tell me to control always or often said ：「you seems get fat.」，「if you can lose few weight , you must be more sexy and pretty」, that’s very impolite and I will feel have heavy pressure to get along with him, and I will think you just like my body, my figure, my breast, my face, not “me”! I think that’s because I have been a fatty, and always be laugh at , and receive a lot of stress from childhood.
Honey do you think I ‘m a pretty and sexy girl? I think your answer is 「yes」，because I’m a pretty and sexy girl indeed, just not very slim “sometimes”. But do u think I’m fat? Your answer must be「no」, because I ever asked you this question. Before I ever afraid if one day my boyfriend want to hug me ,and he touch the fat of my body, how can I to do? And when we have intimate relation, he see the fat… does he will feel nauseated or don’t like me? But is you ,you let me know should be have more confidence to myself, and I’m not fat, you also don’t care my figure so much, at least I never heard you said to me about fat or figure, so far. But now I told you and do you afraid to tell me at a later day? Ha ,anyway just to share you the feeling is good to be thin, can wear any dress and look all beautiful, I really like my figure now, but also fear it’s just a dream, because I ‘m getting old and then will become fat again. Do you still love me, if I get old and not younger, not beautiful and become fat? Hope we can getting old together and slowly , slowly.
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