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運將老爸的眼淚

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文:張傑                                                                 
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
人,天生就不自由,因為無法選擇父母。                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
生在一個破碎家庭,注定從小要承受更多心理煎熬、旁人的異樣眼光,甚至冷嘲熱 
 
諷;儘管比別人加倍努力,還不一定能出人頭地;一不小心,就會安於平庸,把家 
 
庭背景當成自甘墮落的藉口。                                               
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
這兩年,台灣社會更加M型化,貧富差距拉大,教育資源的差距也跟著拉大,在討 
 
論教育問題時,常有人用「命定論」的口吻,給那些弱勢家庭的孩子宣判死刑:認 
 
為他們沒錢讀雙語幼稚園、沒錢補習、沒錢讀貴族私校、考不上明星高中,輸在起 
 
跑點,注定矮人一截。                                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
但真的這麼宿命嗎?                                                       
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
底下我要講的這個故事,是我跑教育新聞十幾年來,少數在採訪過程強忍住不掉淚 
 
的感人故事。男主角是個不向命運低頭的單親技職生,是如此拚命向上,讓人心   
 
疼、憐惜,更讓人不禁豎起大拇指,要為他致上最高敬意。                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他原本有個美滿家庭,但在國一時,父親經營車行失敗,欠了大筆債務,房屋被查 
 
封,媽媽非常瞧不起丈夫,就收拾行李離婚跑人了,在理髮店工作,留下他和他姊 
 
姊;更悲慘的是,連他姊姊也唾棄爸爸,從沒給好臉色看,最後也跟著離家出     
 
走,不知去向,留下父子倆相依為命。                                       
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
為償還大筆債務,爸爸靠行開計程車維生,車子是租的,每天固定要繳錢回車     
 
行,遇到不景氣時,跑不到客人,有時都還要倒貼租金,某次繳完租金,身上只剩 
 
下十塊錢坐公車回家,連飯都沒得吃。                                       
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他中學六年全勤、早早到校,這是孝順爸爸最好的方法 因為收入少,父親只好在關
 
渡山上租間廉價的小房子,他每天上學要步行半小時才能到關渡捷運站搭車到     
 
校,但他從國中到高職都拿全勤,每天總是班上到校最早的前幾名,因為他       
 
說,「這是孝順爸爸,不讓他擔心最好的方式」,父親無法給他什麼,一切得靠自 
 
己努力。                                                                 
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
在青春期遇到父母離婚,加上生活困頓,他國中成績很難不被影響,高中考得不理 
 
想,後來就讀學費比較便宜的南港高工模具科,也就是專門培養「黑手」的地方。 
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
在台灣,中學生被畫分成兩種階級,一種是將來準備考大學的普通高中生,另一種 
 
是為就業準備,或只能考次一級四技二專的高職生。                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
很奇怪地,台灣的高中和高職生很少交流,且後者常被前者看不起。             
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
這些高職生往往來自弱勢家庭,卻因在升學之路矮人一截,就被歧視為「次等國   
 
民」;尤其讀高職模具科當黑手,更形同以前國中放牛班,前途不被看好,好像一 
 
步「死棋」。                                                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
但他並未因此自甘墮落,高職三年依舊拿全勤獎,成績永遠保持前三名,平時同學 
 
討論哪裡有好玩好吃的,他都是默默聽著、一聲不吭,因為他沒有錢,更沒時間讓 
 
他揮霍青春。                                                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他是個不偷懶的好孩子,生活有理想、有規畫,他擔任學校日研社副社長,通過日 
 
語四級檢定;還利用假日到師大外語中心學法文,班上他最小,卻最認真;他不像 
 
許多明星高中生很自私、只會死讀書,課餘他當志工,是學校圖書館及動物園的長 
 
期義工,證書獎狀厚厚一疊。他善用生命中的每一刻,高職畢業時已考上兩張證   
 
照,拿過科展優等,是北市特殊優良學生,還榮獲十大傑出高職生獲教育部長表   
 
揚。                                                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
被北一女同學拋棄,刺激他出人頭地                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
但真正推他一把的,卻是拋棄他的北一女學生!                               
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他和她是國中同學,彼此互有好感,沒想到畢業後,一個上北一女,一個卻只考上 
 
南港高工,兩人等於被分發到不同世界,北一女交一個南港高工的男友,潛意識可 
 
能覺得丟臉、擔心被人笑。但她並未因此和他斷絕來往,他的電腦繪圖能力很     
 
強,總是幫女孩應付所有大大小小的美編、壁報;北一女選修電子計算機概論,老 
 
師出了六道習題,都是他抓刀代答。                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
有一天,他終於忍不住愛意,問她:「妳能不能當我女朋友?」沒想到她冷淡地   
 
說:「我們只是同學而已。」更讓他傷心的是,她說已有男友,也就讀明星高中。 
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
「讀高職的男生,就不是人嗎?就不能公平競爭嗎?我長得也不差呀!(事實     
 
上,他長得滿帥的)」                                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他知道這女孩,就像他的媽媽瞧不起他爸爸一樣,這讓他憤憤不平,覺得被利     
 
用,轉成激發他向上的強烈動機。                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
就在這個時候,他發現爸爸在外面有了「阿姨」,最近很少回家;媽媽聽說也交了 
 
男友;姐姐又不知去向。他深受雙重打擊,覺得全天下只剩自己孤單一人,無依無 
 
靠,唯一的目標,只能不斷往前衝。                                         
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
「老師,只剩高三這一年,我不補習考得上國立大學嗎?」有天他找模具科的 邱  
 
老師面談,老師聽他娓娓道出心路歷程,覺得好心酸,發誓一定要拉這孩子一     
 
把,鼓勵他大有機會。                                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
於是他每周訂定讀書計畫,鎖定推甄台科大高分子工程系,才高三上就已準備好厚 
 
厚一疊推甄資料,果然順利錄取。爸爸知道兒子考上台科大,真的很高興,卻也很 
 
憂心,因為,他爸爸還沒還清債,根本出不起學費,只好很難過地告訴他:「要   
 
讀,只能自己想辦法出學費。」                                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他大學四年,打工了六個多學期,還賺錢給老爸。就這樣,大學四年來,他沒向爸 
 
爸要過一毛錢,除了第一學期用助學貸款,其他六個多學期,他都拼命打工付學費 
 
跟生活費,甚至還拿錢給爸爸補貼家用。                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
但他並未因此犧牲功課。這四年來,他犧牲所有休閒、玩樂,不像一般大學生逛   
 
街、花錢、治裝打扮、到處聚餐、唱KTV,他根本沒時間,也沒本錢。他連女朋 
 
友都不敢交。生活除了打工,就是讀書。                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
由於對於高職學的模具、機械較有興趣,大四那年,他跨組考研究所,竟然榮登台 
 
科大自動控制所榜首,同時更考上台大機械所。                               
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
放榜當天,他去找教授,教授一個個問錄取生讀什麼高中、什麼大學畢業?每個幾 
 
乎都是建中、附中、竹中、台、清、交大,一路讀明星學校。                   
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
問到他時,他很坦然地說,台科大。教授說:「哦~不錯啊!什麼高中畢         
 
業?」「南港。」「南港高中?」他搖搖頭:「南港高工。」教授看著他,點點   
 
頭。他大概是所有錄取生「出身」最低的一個,也就格外讓教授好奇與敬佩。     
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
兒子考上台大,老爸為何覺得丟臉,泣不成聲?                               
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他錄取台大後,先 向高職邱 老師通報喜訊,找完台大教授,再打電話給正在開計 
 
程車的爸爸,告訴爸爸,他考上台大研究所了,要爸爸也要勇敢活下去。         
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
他爸爸接完電話,當場淚如雨下,再也無法做生意,一路開著車回家,然後打電話 
 
給 邱 老師,一邊講、一邊哭:「老師,真的很感謝你──(啜泣),今天我在大業 
 
路紅綠燈下,接到兒子考上台大的電話,一時全身發麻無力開車,隨後放聲大     
 
哭,把後座的乘客嚇壞了。」                                               
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
明明兒子考上台大,是件很光榮的事,運將老爸卻一點也高興不起來:「因為我覺 
 
得好愧疚,這四年來,我沒給過這孩子一毛錢,他考大學、研究所,我沒出過半點 
 
力,他卻這麼爭氣。我這苦命的孩子,爸爸沒有盡到做父親的責任,讓你自己長大 
  .....
」落魄的老爸泣不成聲。                                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
「這些年來,女兒沒給過我好臉色看,早已唾棄我,目前離家不知落腳哪裡。只有 
 
兒子對我不離不棄,還常問我『爸爸你過得去嗎?』、『爸不用擔心我,我已領薪 
 
水了』、『爸,開車不要開得太晚』,他考上台大,我只有慚愧,不敢有喜悅     
  ......
。」(聽 邱 老師講到這一段時,我別過頭,因為眼裡已泛滿眼淚)       
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
當老婆跟女兒相繼離去後,若非這兒子還在身邊,勇敢地為了自己和爸爸而活下   
 
去,三不五時給老爸噓寒問暖,這一文不值的運將,早已沒有活下去的勇氣。台大 
 
研究所放榜那天,兒子打電話來,鼓勵老爸,也要勇敢活下去,讓他徹徹底底潰堤 
 
了,一個客人都不能載,就這樣哭了一整天。                                 
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
邱老師後來把這個故事告訴鄭姓同事,同事再轉述給就讀台大中文所的女兒聽,她 
 
聽了熱淚盈眶,曾寫下這個故事,很多網友轉載。                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
她文末說:「我想,這孩子一定會成功的,在那樣的逆境,是我怎麼想都沒辦法想 
 
像的,從來不愁吃不愁穿的我,真的可說是十分汗顏,當我還在想著買多少化妝   
 
品、買多少衣服時,當我還在計較著怎麼我的錢都不夠我吃喝玩樂加打扮時,有人 
 
這麼辛苦而又勇敢的生活著。」                                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
 
「這是千真萬確的事實,就發生在今天的台灣。在這個時代,勇敢的人,依然存   
 
在。」                                                                   
                                                                           
                                                                           
   
(謹以本文獻給每天奮鬥不懈的單親兒,及每天鼓勵弱勢中小學生的偉大老     
 
師!)                                                                    
                                                                            

台長: ೀ路寒★柚╮
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