after all that you have said last night,i know you would go away eventually.leaving me behind all alone and that is why i said i’d have to learn to rely on nobody but myself. cos everyone will leave me one day and i’ll be lonly by myself..wanted to ask you if you would take me away if you leave,but my hunch is that your answer would most likely be a "no". I really wish and hope and want you to be my very last,but is that what you are thinking of as well or am i doing the same thing by thinking too far ahead with you in mind. Only to end up knowing that you don’t have me in mind..Only you would know.
Would you be like the song 幸福地圖?I really wish that we were each other’s maps to each other’s heart..i don’t know how positive that you would be the one but 1 thing i do know is that no matter what you have turned into, i’d still stick by you unless you choose to cast me away but i know even then i’d try to get back to you.Look at the lyrics of the song..you told me that i was not born for you..But i do know that i want to be here for you, for every single thing within my abilities. Take a pinch of salt if you have to for everything that i say, i won’t blame you nor anybody cos that is my own fault so why should i point fingers at anyone?
The talk yesterday made me feel a scary side of you, your stern voice..your words..yea true you haev been doing that since day 1 and showing me what you have been but you said it took me 3 months before saying what you were and seeing what you were. I do not please you cos i have to..I don’t please myself most of the time, i try to please everybody. But when i do things that i wana please myself, what am i branded as? SELFISＨ．．man are slefish by nature,we are selfish creatures. I hate to admit that and we also have a ugly side of us..You have seen it that time..I got angry and scolded you like never before..You think that i am lying to you all along. You think that i would sacrifice anything in the world to find myself. But havent you learn your lesson? I have..Knowing too much is never a good thing. Know what you have to and let the rest unfold on its own. I am never good at organising things, even when it comes down to the simplest things like talking i can actually get jumbled up with what i want to say..That’s natural for you to think that my words are unconvincing and you won’t take it..besides you might think they are all lies..So i really wonder if from now on i should shut up and not say anything unless neccessary..?Lost..remember i once asked, if i really absorp all the things that you have said and apply them would you still love me for me? I really think you won’t..You give me a feeling somehow you have fallen for a stranger..A stranger that does not know herself that she is a stranger..till yesterday..she probably knows but have been running away from it all along covering it up with lies, and crazy thoughts of her own..fragile innocence.braces.ice cream.anorexic. we’re so beautiful and damned.that came from a friend’s msn nick.I so agree..i’m beautiful in my own way and damned in my own way too..
everytime we talk like that i have a phobia you’d go away..i sometimes wonder if you were really to walk away,what will that leave me with?I just wana keep walking to you even if you think it’d never happen. i wana walk to your heart,to your mind..even though its crazy and ridiculous.I don’t know if you will continue to believe that we will make it..cos i still do and thats why i ain’t letting go..you’re lost,so am i..but sometimes i juz think..i can’t get lost cos if i do what would happen to you and me? sigh..think too much right? but whichever..for now i just want food to replenish myself..i’m starving..
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