♥ i miss U ♥ ♥ really realli miss u can't stop thinking of U ♥

127愛的鼓勵 0訂閱站台

now its my turn to post the blog, after so long...
i have been reading this blog and everything u say...
i think about every single word that u say even some of them i dont understand because they are all in chinese..
but its ok, i will let u translate for me later...
i feel so tired, when i come to think about wat will happen in the future
because its so complicated and so many things to think about...
i used to think about it...predict my own future, plan them, and follow the plan..and i know it will bring me to bright future
but then i realise, when i love someone...its complicate...i lost the control over my own future...
and it is nothing else
but the future of the relationship that i am in
the future of love that i cannot control alone
and that make me feel so insecure..
i feel like i loose control....over everything
and i feel cold when i feel miss...
as if the warmth was taken away....
it become worse to know when in the future u will be away
and i cannot stop that at all..
i know u feel insecure...and might rather seek for the more secure...person who can be with u and make u feel safe all the time..
i know that...its the thing that everyone wants...
i used to force myself to be different...to break our of the norm
thateven though how much i feel pain...and hurt..i still the same
absorb all the pain so that the other people dont feel pain..
i been thinking alot too...cuz i feel lonely
and hurt...
and i wonder...
"will u love someone who hurt u"...
for me...i dont really know..
but right now i still hurt myself...
but i donno why i am still here..?
but the most amazing things of all
is that i feel love...
no
more like to be loved so much bysomeone
to feel that i had someone’s life in my hand...
its something i cannot get or replace anymore...
and its the only thing...i scare to loose..
so i really feel happy..
that once...i am loved...
so much..
so care...
so sacrified for..
u might think i dont know..
i just dont know how to say..
i am the same as u
i sacrifices too...so much already...
i gave up my life...for it...
tat right now...i rather ...want to talk to u..
than just write down here...
the future that i somehow...dontwant to know
i dont want the future...
if to loose u,
is wat i have to be...