加加的隨筆 一居美華人女子之台 難得還可以用中文來寫幾段文子.... 要珍惜機會和靈感, 不要放棄.

261愛的鼓勵 0訂閱站台

Most of my time, I am surrounded by different people. Sometimes, I feel annoying, but usually I need people to surround me. If not, I know that I will be out of control - I am a very emotional person who always suppress my true identity and thoughts. As a result, within my heart, there is no such word as calm. I can be like an erupting volcano if I'm in the right mood. My fervor for life, my ambition for success, my craving for recognition, mingled with my complicated insights about my own experiences and fate, nearly turned me off the previous few days when I had to face so many challenges at the same time.

Fortunate enough, I have my angels - they are only people in fact. I regard them as angels because angels, for me, can be anyone who can bring out my constructive conscious. They are people who know me well enough to discover my weaknessess, my charm, my potentials, my inefficiency, and most of all, my character. They led me to see my true self all these years. Without their help, I guess I am still a lost child, wondering around a maze filled with devious and dangerous figures.

Yesterday, after a great American traditional holiday, I met three of my angels. My left over vanity vanishes, and my depressed mode diminishes. On my way back home, I saw my shadow on the window of the train, which seemed to be so calm. So calm. I longed to see this calm figure for a long time. The simplest adjective - calm.

Back home, I returned to my usual state of confusion with mixed desire. Today, I remember that it's been a long while since I last felt the same tranquility I found last night. Then, I was shocked...


People from Macau are more likely to be my angels.