*this article will contain two languages.
if u dont want to confuse ur self
or killed by ur own curiosity,
do NOT read on.
不想寫整篇英文
並不是不會寫
而是怕被學校裡面的人拿去做文章.
*---
沒有拿到Defying Gravity的solo part.
God knows how much I wanted it.
wait, I dont think i believed in God.
反正就是很傷心而且很不甘心
雖然一大堆朋友都已經安慰過我
但就是不甘心被Justine拿走.
明明broadway singing 就不是她的type.
ms Baillie就硬要說是.
她是根本就是choral singing type
雖然練了很久晉級到了final three.
連原本的recording都已經聽到快爛掉
但就是沒有得到
如果說是katrina得到的話我心理還會比較平衡
因為人家已經是senior了
今年就要畢業
而妳
比我小3歲
說實在妳根本就不應該通過最基本的年齡限制
是說yr10 and above.
但是你跟本就不到yr10的年齡不是嗎!?
為什麼要有限制?
因為u have to have the basic 成熟度 to sing the solo part.
有人會說我應該get over it.
I thought so too.
但是事實就是無法阿...
judy的塔羅牌說
I’m holding on to it too tight.
yeah? maybe I am.
becaz now I just wanna run away from this school, or even this country
to have a quiet place, and to be with myself, alone.
then maybe kill my self at the end,
yes, becuz I care about it VERY MUCH.
but oh well, who else cares?
everyone’s showing as if that they couldn’t care less,
so why shouldn’t I be the same as them?
becuz after all isn’t that what everyone’s trying to do?
to ”be or think like others”????
basically Justine’s voice is truly brilliant,
而很不幸的that’s what Ms. Baillie wants.
但是broadway技巧在哪裡?
我感覺不到the emotions.
我快爆炸了.
last night when we were at the rehearsal,
Ms Baillie說: so...we’ve decided that Justine is singing the solo part!!! cuz her voice is just brilliant.
inside my body it feels like as if my heart’s been torn apart.
but i know her voice is really goood.
所以呢???
並不是all的singing都based on the voice阿
今天並不是說我還在氣頭上
所以我才在這邊說氣話
I’ve never got so focus on a thing
and at the same time works my ass off for it.
and now,
it seemed as if it’s all ended.
it’s not that I reckon I WILL definitely will get the part or sm stupid thought like that.
but I’m just very sad, and angry.
sad about not getting the part,
and angry about myself and the fact that老師在找的element竟然是如此的不專業. 好聲音, without技巧.
maybe u’ll think that I’m a bit psycho. lol
maybe u’ll think that why don’t I just let it go.
but I’m just feeling that there r too many things that u’ll regret for till the end of ur life. and this is the first one of mine.
so hey, it’s pretty huge.
but u’’ll have to know that everyone has different aspects on certain things.
at the end, I just hope that no one will judge this article, or run and tell everyone else that knows me that here’s smthing about Christine, and she’s TOTALLY fucked.
just let me be would u.
and finally, thank you Caroline,
thank you for ur words,
I feel truly thankful.
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