I chatted with a net-friend in ICQ last night. We met each other several years ago. He is a pharmacist in Egypt. I told him about my family’s situation. He explained to me in detail from the view of medical science. I understand what he meant but still hope there will be an exceptional case. Am I too optimistic?
I told him about my thoughts and considerations. He disagreed and said that I will realize what he said with my own eyes in short time and he just wanted to make the full picture clear in my mind so that I can make the proper decision. In his opinion, we shouldn’t sell the house even if others insist.
“I don’t know your traditions, but what I know is you don’t have to pay any thing at all. Her husband and her parents are responsible for this. That’s what I know.” He told me.
“I understand, but… I can’t do nothing when my family has trouble.”
“If you can help, it’s well and good. If you cannot, you don’t have to make your life as hell to help her. No one can ask you to do this.” He said.
I always want to do something good even if others are doing everything bad to me. That’s my merit but also my defect.
“Am I too kind?” I asked.
“Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” He said , “It’s ok to be tender, but…”
“I always think I should not do nothing on this.” I told him.
“But there is always a limit. You don’t have to. It’s just her destiny, not yours!”
“THERE IS ALWAYS A LIMIT!
IT’S JUST HER DESTINY, NOT YOURS!”
He changed my mind suddenly by saying this.
“Let’s change the subject!” He encouraged me.
I am not sure if I have the power to change the subject. However, everyone told me that it’s the time for me to protect myself. I should protect myself. It doesn’t mean I am selfish but it is just a natural behaviour of a human being.
Is it similar to a Chinese term called “愛人，先愛己。”? If I even cannot protect myself, how can I protect my parents and my life?
Photo:CityU main campus,27 Feb 2006
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