cuz i said so

72愛的鼓勵 0訂閱站台

一個朋友今天轉寄給我
不知道原作者是誰
但是非常的好笑
enjoy...


THE BOOTY CALL CONTRACT

This pre-booty call agreement is entered into on the _________day of
_________________ 2006, between ___________________________ and
______________________________.


THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events
of the evening.
3. No calls before 9:00 PM - we don’t have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only mind blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions. Ex. "Where are we heading with this?" "Do
you love me?" The answer is "NO", so don’t ask.
6. No plans made in advance. That is why you are called the "backup" -
unless you are from out-of-town, and then it’s only a one-time thing.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk. However, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers. It’s really none of
your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with benefits" - we are not
friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is okay -don’t be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don’t want your ass leaving anything behind
when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it’s over, so get you ass up
and go home.
14. Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you enjoyed it - I don’t care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for ANY reason.
16. If anyone asks you who you are, the standard response will be:
"The delivery man."
17. Doggie-style preferred - just hit it hard and right, or get the hell out!
18. Reason for doggie-style: the less eye contact, the better.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME - so don’t keep calling.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don’t want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
22. The most important one - NO CONDOMS, NO SEX. Carry your butt home.

EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
Agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of
this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void, and you
will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from the
phone memory and email list - BLOCKED from all communications until
your silly ass understands the rules.



_________________________ ______________________
(Participating Party Signature) (Date)

_________________________ ______________________
(Participating Party Signature) (Date)