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Jan. 20, 2006

This is the first winter vacation that has nothing to do with me.
If I have to name one thing that I miss most about school life,
those numerous vacations would be the first thing on my list.
Winter vacation, spring vacation and summer vacation.

This winter vacation means a lot to me, and it is a vey important symbol.
I take this winter vacation as a turning point after which I am officially not a student anymore.
What makes me sad is not that I cannot have a break.
It is the fact that studying literature is no more my only job hurts me.

One friend suggests that I should take another degree.
I reject her suggestion.
Take another degree, for what?
That I love the feeling of being a student doesn’t mean that I can really take back this identity.
I will be a student again unless I can find someone who is willing to support me, afford me, and free me from all my care.
Before then, I should be a desperate OL.
It is so sad and pathetic, but it is the reality.
Besides, I do not have a little bit talent of being a scholar.

Life indeed sucks, but it is out of my control.