Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 狗狗和貓咪比小孩子好的理由如下:
1. Eat less. 吃得比較少.
2. Don't ask for money all the time. 不會總是和你要錢.
3. Are easier to train. 比較容易訓練.
4. Normally come when called. 通常叫了會來.
5. Never ask to drive the car, they don't wreck the car and they don't raise your automobile insurance rates. 從來不會要求開車, 不會撞毀你的車並提高你的保費金額.
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends. 不會和吸毒的朋友一起混.
7. Don't smoke or drink. 不會抽煙或喝酒.
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions. 不會追求購買時尚.
9. Don't want to wear your clothes. 不會想要穿著你的衣物.
10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college. 不需要一大筆錢上大學.
11. Don't mind a bit when you pass gas. 當你"排氣"時一點都不在意.
12. Don't roll their eyes and say "oh Pleeeese". 不會翻著白眼說 "喔~~拜託~~"
13. Don't play weird music at top volume. 不會將奇怪的音樂放到最大聲.
14. Don't have to get a baby sitter when you go out. 當你出門時不需要找保姆.
15. They do not answer back. 她們不會頂嘴.
16. They listen no matter what you say! 無論你說什麼她們都會傾聽.
17. You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars for Christmas and birthdays. 你不需要花一大堆錢在聖誕節和生日上.
18.They don't need to be taken to music lessons or soccer practice. 你不用送她們去學音樂或練足球.
19.They don't become embarrassed to be seen with you when they reach adolescence. 當他們青春期時也不會因為和你在一起被看到而感到尷尬.
20. They don't ride their skateboards where they should not. 不會在不應該的地點滑滑板.
21. You do not have to buy them books. 你不需要爲她們買書.
22. In addition to the eating less, they also are not fussy when they get the same meal every night and are grateful. 除了吃得比較少以外, 她們心存感激也不會因為每天晚上吃一樣的晚餐而挑剔.
23.If you scold them, they don't pout. Generally, they are over it in a minute and love you anyway. 如果你叱責她們, 她們不會板臉, 通常她們一分鐘後就會忘記, 而且還是一樣愛你.
24.They are attentive when you are sick. 當你生病時她們會很關注你.
25.They don't go online and charge a bunch of stuff to your credit card. 她們不會上網用你的信用卡購買一堆東西.
26.They don't tie up the phone for hours on end. 她們不會連續地好幾個小時佔用電話.
27.They do not smart mouth back at you. 她們不會耍嘴皮子地和你頂嘴.
28.They do not grab everything in site at the grocery store. 她們不會在超市中亂抓視線所及的所有物品.
29.You do not have to pay their expensive cell phone bills for talking or texting. 你不需要幫她們聊天或簡訊所花費的昂貴手機費用付帳單.
30.They don't need expensive electronic gadgets...a tennis ball will do just fine and a pair of your socks is even better! 她們不需要昂貴的3C用品...一個網球或是你一雙襪子就很好了.
31.They love us unconditionally even when we're sick in bed or when we have garlic breath.......and never shout "I hate you" when you tell them they have to be home by curfew or that they can't have the car or that pair of $200 blue jeans that come faded and torn like the ones already in the closet! 她們毫無條件地愛我們, 即使我們生病或是滿嘴大蒜味.....並且不會因為我們限制她們而對我們大叫說"我恨你"!
32.At night, you can lock them in their kennel and no one will call Child Protective Services on you! 如果晚上你把她們關在籠中, 她們不會打電話給兒童保護機構舉發你.
33.They never scream at the top of their voices like children do when they play around or get excited. 在她們玩樂或是興奮時也不會像兒童用最大音量尖叫.
34.They will not come home with undesirable piercings or tattoos. 她們不會帶著你不樂見的刺青或是穿刺藝術回家.
35.They don't have to ask boyfriends around.
36.They never have to ask you about homework. 她們永遠不會問你有關功課的事.
37.They don't scream to get their way. 她們不會用尖叫來達到目的.
38.If they give you crap, you can bag it up and throw it away.
39.Wherever you take them, it's their FAVORITE place to be! 無論你帶她們去哪裡, 她們都很喜歡( 版主個人意見: 限於狗吧.....)
40.Whatever you feed them, it's the BEST food they've ever eaten! 無論你餵她們吃什麼, 都是她們吃過最好的食物. ( 版主個人意見: 還是限於狗.....@@)
41.When you come home, it's the MOST FUN they've had all day! 當你回到家, 這是她們一天中最開心的事.
45.And finally...If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. 最後..... 如果她們懷孕了, 你可以把她們的小孩賣掉.
(版主個人意見: 請用結紮代替撲殺, 用認養代替購買!)
p.s. 純粹博君一笑, 無冒犯任何人事物之意!
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