做完很多雜事，正事卻沒一件做成的一天。
把一整籃的衣服依照洗標分類，花了三個小時洗衣、烘乾，把它們一一摺疊成大小一致的形狀，該掛的掛起來，該放進小抽屜的摺好收好，關上衣櫥門，煮了一壺薄荷茶，邊收桌子下堆積的文件書籍的同時，Beck在唱歌。
然後煮了兩人份的麵條，加了越來越無聊的冷凍蔬菜，一點點蝦仁，以及一顆蛋，當然少不了沙茶醬，看無聊的daytime節目，午餐吃得太豐富於是決定出去take a walk。所以順道借了書，預約了明早的掛號，然後花了十分鐘的時間，慢慢地走到sainsbury超市，天氣看起來冷可是其實還好，今天街上的人不多，不是上下班時間所以空氣不渾濁，sainsbury還是一樣地和藹可親。
經過Jake’s Moonlight的時候，進去買了一杯卡布奇諾，就知道他們總是播著好音樂，外頭冷裡面熱所以眼鏡起霧，店員笑笑地遞過一張面紙，我只是聳肩說「it happens」。回來之後看了點希臘文。今天講到的是「你做得是什麼工作？」眞他媽地難，光是背字母學怎麼寫就花了很多功夫，有些字母看起來跟英文字母很像，發音卻差很多，總是下意識地把它發成英文，是怎樣。
晚餐給自己做了一個超大的pitta三明治。烤得酥脆的pitta餅內，夾上煎蛋以及融化的巧達起司，切片番茄、放上一堆洋蔥，就像男人每次做給我吃的早餐一樣，迅速豐盛又營養，再搭配兩罐迷你養樂多，星期三的晚上很無聊，宿舍安靜到想尖叫。
然後我在房間裡，看著男人終於傳過來的一枚簡訊，嘆了口長長的氣，突然很想明天就帶著相機搭車去有陽光的海邊，需要消失個一兩天，不做任何努力，只想暫時逃開不夠好的你，藏起不夠好的自己。
今晚看不見摩天輪銀灰藍的美麗弧形，在城市另一端的你現在在幹麻？
*pix taken in 東海 in Taichung, this summer before I was here
【background music】”I’ve Never Been To Me” - - performed by Charlene
Hey lady, you lady
cursing at your life
You’re a discontented mother
and a regimented wife
I’ve no doubt you dream about
the things you’ll never do
But,
I wish someone had a talked to me
like I wanna talk to you.....
Ooh I’ve been to Georgia and California
and, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacher man
and we made love in the sun
but I ran out of places
and friendly faces
because I had to be free
I’ve been to paradise
but I’ve never been to me...
Please lady, please, lady
don’t just walk away
’cause I have this need to tell you
why I’m all alone today
I can see so much of me
still living in your eyes
won’t you share a part
of a weary heart
that has lived million lies.......
Ooh I’ve been to Nice and the Isle of Greece
while I’ve sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo
and showed ’em what I’ve got
I’ve been undressed by kings
and I’ve seen some things
that a woman ain’t supposed to see.......
I’ve been to paradise,
but I’ve never been to me.......
Hey, you know what paradise is? It’s a lie. A fantasy we create about
people and places as we’d like them to be.
But you know what truth is?
it’s that little baby you’re holding and
it’s that man you fought with this morning
the same one you’re going to make love with tonight
that’s truth, that’s love.........
Sometimes I’ve been to crying for unborn children
that might have made me complete
but I.....I took the sweet life
I never knew
I’d be bitter from the sweet
I’ve spent my life exploring
the subtle whoring
that costs too much to be free....
hey lady......
I’ve been to paradise......
but I’ve never been to me.........
I’ve been to paradise
but I’ve never been to me....
I’ve been to paradise
but I’ve never been to me..
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