I am afraid that one day I will forget everything. Memory. What a special thing in human that make us love it hate it. Most of the details has get losted and what still left behind? Although I hate writing silly stuff. But they were made. Am I still silly now?
It has been 2 years since I first met you. To me, it might be a miracle that I got notice about you and I was interested about you in such a small tutorial room. Sitting behind you, you every action drew all of my notice. And then, the day end and I even didn’t know who you are or how you look like. My only memory about you was your hair style and the words on the back on your tee. That’s the begin of a story in a sunny day of 13th February, 2004 with no character. At least I am not an actor and I will never be the main character of the show.
It was the next week that I really met you in person coincidently without any effort. I remembered your name and your face. Afraid to be forgetting that I mark them down on the schedule. I began to know you from the class that we take and from a classmate that we knew together. It took me a month to save the energy to introduce myself from a chance of meeting you. I was no longer the person sit beside and listen to the conversation. I began to understand you more and more. I look for the correct time and correct place to meet you in person but acting everything to be normal. I have made up my mind that end the whom I considered in the past and treasured you as an important person to me. I could still remember the nervous I have when talking with you, the time I keep a seat for you in lecture hall, the happiness I got when I exhanged my number will you, the embrassement I have giving a cheer chen’s cd to you making some lies, the sadness about give me five, and the eagerness of getting your icq number. I tried to know you more and I waited and waited at night just wanted to say hi to you. But life was never an easy journey. It was the day before an exam that I knew my world ends. At least I have said something that might not truely reflect my heart. The blessing, the rationality, the hidden meanings in sentence. All the stuff put me on the cross that I made for myself. It was a period that I thought I have put everything aside.
I went to travel to think and think. But nothing seemed can be solved even I have listened to a song for thousand times. The silly and strange email, the misunderstanding, the coolest weather in summer. And then it was the July. You had your fruitful life and I was still sinking. Your day, a meeting, the xanga, the thought, the gift. Everything iced till the start of new semester. My memory lost.
It is a hard semester. Once I thought I have put everything aside. Not until the chance of working together in a project. A wish a end an other decided choice. Time passes. I still remembered the morning that we looked at the windcock on the building even though it was a meaningless conversation. The Christmas soon come. I mailed a card to you after I receieved your approval. I didn’t remembered whether I still wrote silly email or not. But it was one out of 5 that I mailed in that Christmas. At the day for the exam of d-psy, you returned a card to me for reciprocity. The words were meaningful that sustain me to live for a lonely winter. My memory lost again.
The start of 2005, the day that I throw away myself to a place that near you, the memorial event for 1 year. Some interaction about homework. A peaceful end of Year 2. It was the day on the exam that coincidently you sit beside me and said hi. Another coincident meet at the same day. Are there something returned? The coincident of the SEP, the day of talk, the support bulit up.
The start of a brand new July. Your month to me. I reappeared on the net. The new communication, the establishment of chatting about daily life, the music, the book, the SEP experience, the ideas about life. Once I have dreamed and I was drunk. Even though nothing change in your states. The concert ticket, the excuse. The SMS of birthday wishes. The tea on 31/7 in Festival Walk. The dream, the wishes, the silly thing, the sweet, the conversation, the gift, the groupies, the reality, the bye. It was once that satisfied for life that exit for the mystery. The revolving August. the interaction, the many SMS, the presentation, the silly bag of clothes, the part-time, the together time in CC, the mini-bus, the dream of leaving together, the terrible rainy day with fears of stairs. The lover.
A plain September, the concert the white couples. The communication, the class. Building up some relationship, the SMS, the take and return of Qs, the IELTS examination on the rainy day, the rush in CWB, the earphone the cheer chen, the be with you. Rethinking in the alone trip to Macau solved nth but a warm mid-autumn SMS when returned. The Lemon Tea, the frequent meeting in CC. And then the hot and cold October. The sms, the books, the open day. The 5pm SMS of B-wishes. The day for a mid-term, after the mid-term, the unawareness, the return, the borrowing of 4th album, the person, the unwilling light bulb, the hungry CC, and then the surprise of smile and card, the SMS.
The november xanga response, the MSN. The talk in class, the listening, the borrowed paper, the sitting, the little secret of a little action, the feeling of return to the origin. The busy Nov and the silent December. The SMS before final term test, the meeting in CC, the leave, the report and worry from fd abt u, the red eyes, the unspeakable care, the hi in stairs, the SMS, the OK. The forgotten Christmas card during a saturday. The 6pm in CC to deliver a card, the walk to MB, the 201, the meet of a friend, the bye and add oil. the thanks SMS. the christmas SMS. The return of card in 7365 dangerously with 1/3 out. The unanswered SMSs before the NY. crisis and worry
2006, the make up of mind again. the misunderstanding, the fear. Keep everything simple and easy as fd only. the xanga, the reg of tutorial, the last semester consu psy lecture, the little chat and distraction. The blank chinese new year. The notoce and nth lecture, the data entry and sms. The saturday couple wordless even notice. The return and take Qs, short conversation. The night SMSs communication. And then the MSN chat abt other’s love, movie, and promise tonight.
It has been already 2 years.
No answer may be an answer. Just let everything be as how it should be.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Theme music of the day:
Cheer Chen: Travel is Meaningful (track 2) since 040404
文章定位：
