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這是段有關拉屎的文章

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沒錯~
今天要說的 就是拉屎~

這有什麼好噁心的
誰不每天拉屎?
(便秘的人除外^^ 該多吃蔬果囉 
 拉屎狗舔嘴唇提醒您)

嘿~說到這個 我就滿腦子疑惑
宿舍住的都是二十幾 甚至三十歲以上的成年人了
怎麼還會有人把屎拉到外面的?

好吧 如果是因為烙賽 來不及對準馬桶
那也別太責怪他了
拉肚子已經很可憐
雖然噴了半鍋湯湯水水的東西在門邊 實在很噁爛
大不了換一間廁所臨幸
(揮揮衣袖 統統留給打掃的可憐阿姨)
君子有好生之德 主啊!你就別懲罰他了

可是 為什麼會有那種硬硬的一條 安靜的躺在馬桶外邊?
這人是行動不便嗎? 那他應該會被分派去住在一樓才對
這人是還不會大小便嗎? 那他應該還在唸那種早上十點還要吃點心的學校
這人是患了肛門收宿障礙的病?
還是屁股長歪了?
拜託!
唸研究的人至少都是成年人了 有夠可恥
這根本只是沒品
下輩子投胎當推糞蟲吧~


好啦~別批評別人
其實自己在拉屎也有特殊僻好
----我
除了自己家廁所(老家+租房子的家)
我只上蹲式馬桶~ (應該也還好吧)

我是也沒嚴重到要認馬桶啦
可是 對於公廁 那種坐式的 我實在沒勇氣一屁股坐下去
管它有沒有很先進的馬桶坐墊
(像國外那種 一張薄薄的 用完要丟掉)
管它洗得再乾淨
也有人說 怕髒就直接蹲在上面
(可是蹲起來更高 濺起的水花也會更高)
><
不要~我還是不行
所以 到現在我還沒在實驗室拉過屎
很不幸的 本棟樓的馬桶 就是坐式的=.=

所以啦~當腸胃抗議的時候 我就沒好日子過了
記得去年我還租房子在中和的時候
有一天 也是狂拉肚子啊~
當感覺來了的時候 打死不上實驗室的廁所
捨棄十公尺內的的距離
強忍著噴便的刺激
硬是飆機車 十分鐘衝回自己的住處放心拉屎~
當天 就在公館中和間來回好幾趟=.=
(好險我沒租房子在陽明山><)

也因為堅持在家上大號的緣故
拉屎的時間也就容易掌握
每天下班之後
準備洗澡前 噹!感覺來了喔!
順勢把宿便清空了之後
然後洗個澡 剛好也把臭味洗掉 全身通體舒暢啊!

認馬桶的怪僻不值得鼓勵
但是 養成定時排便 是健康的好習慣喔~
拉屎狗關心您

台長: 拉屎狗
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2024-03-31 20:26:04
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