台灣獼猴對台灣宅男的啟示＠國際鬧鐘協會

2010-03-06 12:31:21| 人氣360| 回應8 | 上一篇 | 下一篇

台灣獼猴對台灣宅男的啟示

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http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%8F%B0%E7%81%A3%E7%8D%BC%E7%8C%B4

(這隻母猴正在幫公猴抓鹽和蝨子！瞧這隻猴兒，之●囂●張●的！我是否應該去幫台灣獼猴開一門通識課呢？【母猴主義】！)

宋少卿在《台灣原人》裡開政府玩笑：「我們政府保護台灣獼猴保護得很~~~好哪~~~~ 台灣獼猴都比原住民還多哪！」每次聽都笑得很開心，沒想到這是真的！中山大學的學生都要自救了。我們的超級內向助理柯博文現在在中山當助理，居然開始活潑了起來。也許某部份也要歸功這些靈長類朋友的影響。

昨天 YV 在 FB 碰到木訥柯博文，有了以下的對話：

J: 中山這邊的辦公室, 只有小隊長的歌聲和我, 或許再加上外頭的小猴子 (嘰嘰)

J: 有食物在, 猴子可能會進來攻擊我, 啊啊啊~~

A: 爪爪(←送你兩串香蕉)

J: 有食物在, 猴子可能會進來攻擊我, 啊啊啊~~

B: 你本身就是食物啦~萊訝!!

C: 啊哈哈，萊訝好笑！

D: 不知道猴子吃不吃萊訝？

J: 其實現在就有一隻巴在我身上 (噴汁)

Ｅ：新片嗎？《南部大學之真‧異種格鬥大戰》

YV: Interesting life with monkeys!

J: Those monkeys are really cute, but they are also robbers. They like to snatch your food while you're eating it. Sometimes I have the kind of feeling that they are monkeys from the ninja tribe: Ninja!

YV: So, you are serious?

I thought you were only joking!

J: No, Prof. YV, I am not joking XD~~ Some students left a B. B. gun here in the office. They say it is for scaring those monkeys away while they break through the door as the SWAT team XD~~

YV: What!!!!!

That's really beyond my imagination!!

I thought it only occurred in the stand-up comedy for entertainment.

So, you used the gun too?!??

(Shocked!!!)

J: No, never. And I wish I'll never use it too. XD~

If I unfortunately have such surprising opportunity, I think I'll take banana as my sword to fight them XD~~

YV: God bless you and your fingers!

Don't you think your fighting strategy is a little bit too stupid? I've never been in an army, but I know I should not tempt my "enemy" like this! If they are 台灣獼猴，don't they have very sharp teeth? My friend got a giant scar on her leg, done by a monkey when she was living in Hualien.

J:　Haha, I am just kidding. They usually appear by the road or in the parking lot, and I always quickly pass by when I see monkeys. Although the students here say that those monkeys may open the door, I've never seen them here on the hallway ^^

ＹＶ：Sigh!

你變壞了!

是猴崽把你帶壞的嗎?

Ｊ：老師我沒有啊~ (泣) 只是在高雄這裡, 變得開朗一點了吧 XD. 話說今年的畢演, 我拼老命都要回去欣賞!

ＹＶ：好! 乖! 猴塞雷!

一定要回來呀!!!

不錯啦! 已經知道開玩笑的重要!

這樣才可以趕緊交女朋友結婚!

Ｊ：　哈哈, 臉紅了 >/////<. 距離我交到女朋友結婚可能還要更努力啊老師 XD~~

ＹＶ：這樣就臉紅怎麼交女朋友?!

你繼續和那些猴子奮鬥，找到 playful, aggressive, funny, beastly and courageous 的特質，加到你的藝術家天份裡! 太 perfect 了!!! (假如我有女兒就好了! 現在就可以選女婿!)

Ｊ：老師您真是過獎了, 可是 aggressive 跟 beastly...唉呦 (冷汗直流) XD~~

ＹＶ：沒辦法!

很多可愛的女生還是逃不了「男生不壞女生不愛」的魔咒。做做樣子就好了嘛! 該主動牽手的時候就要毫不遲疑的伸手! 所以要常常帶你的 date 逛街，或爬山，或.... (請參考各國偶像劇) 然後要不停的過馬路! 這樣才能 aggressive! 看到電線桿就要佔地盤! 那就是 beastly 的本能啦!!!(請再參考各國偶像劇)