這是因為翻看二麻子國文課本引起的無聊聯想。已經寫給同學笑過，不過我猜她們都不覺得好笑，因為刊了一星期也沒有人回應。我也不知道為什麼，只能怪自己笑點低得莫名其妙。
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《詩經》（靜女。邶風）。
靜女其姝，俟我於城隅，愛而不見，搔首踟躕。
靜女其孌，貽我彤管，彤管有煒，說懌女美。
自牧歸荑，洵美且異，匪女之為美，美人之貽。
二麻子的隨身讀小冊子的注釋用詞很有趣：「文靜的姑娘真漂亮，等我等在城角上，故意躲藏不見我，害我抓頭摸耳直徬徨。」看起來好像是一個男生被惡整一樣。其實，在這種教育之下，當女生真的很累呢！
這時候台長想起文化差異的小議題來了。女性主義論者還有別的話說：有時候「性侵、性騷擾」兩造說辭相反，標準很難判定，就是這種文化背景害的。作家老是用「欲拒還迎」來寫情色小說，也害很多「我說不就是不」的女生處境夾纏不清。
我們家有一本超大的便宜精裝書，叫做《女性百科全書》。裡面涵蓋傳統女生自出生到老年所有和女生相關的應對之道：食衣住行育樂！圖文並茂的是針織、剪裁、著衣的要訣，以及各種菜餚的食譜。年輕時期的Yvette 還真的做過其中很多道菜，也打過很多中國結。不過最好笑的是裡頭一章教女生「交男友」：從第一次約會注意事項到防狼之道，應有盡有。我常常拿出其中一段經典來唸給【女性文學】課的學生聽。
大意是這樣的：「第一次約會，千萬記得要穿著不易脫掉的長褲……第一次接吻的時候，不要立刻把舌頭伸到對方的嘴裡，以免被認為妳很老練……最好是選一個面對月光的角度，輕吻完畢，將頭抬起，最好眼中還有即將盈出的淚光，這時候的妳嬌羞動人」（然後重點來了！）「妳就可以一輩子吃定他！」哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！！！每次唸都笑到上氣不接下氣！原來戀愛也要搞權謀！真的好累呀！男生也好累呢！
相反的，教Jonathan Swift 的 Gulliver’s Travels就有完全不一樣的笑聲。第四部〈慧駰國〉裡的智馬跟Gulliver說：「你們這些犽猢的行為真難理解！」牠大概覺得女犽猢的調情行為很下流吧？！可是我們把這種flirting的行動視為「含蓄嬌羞」，那是增進費洛蒙分泌的要素，不是嗎？
Anyway, 想想還真好笑。大家也來笑一笑吧！
His honour had further observed, “that a female Yahoo would often stand
behind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the young males passing by, and then
appear, and hide, using many antic gestures and grimaces, at which time it
was observed that she had a most offensive smell; and when any of the males
advanced, would slowly retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit
show of fear, run off into some convenient place, where she knew the male
would follow her.
“At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or four of
her own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter, and grin, and smell
her all over; and then turn off with gestures, that seemed to express
contempt and disdain.”
Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, which he had
drawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by others; however,
I could not reflect without some amazement, and much sorrow, that the rudiments
of lewdness, coquetry, censure, and scandal, should have place by instinct
in womankind.
I expected every moment that my master would accuse the Yahoos of those
unnatural appetites in both sexes, so common among us. But nature, it seems,
has not been so expert a school-mistress; and these politer pleasures
are entirely the productions of art and reason on our side of the globe.
(From Gulliver’s Travels, Part IV - A Voyage to the Country of the Houyhnhnms,
C VII)
ftp://opensource.nchc.org.tw/gutenberg/etext97/gltrv10h.htm
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我猜看到這篇會笑得最瘋狂的是 Chili 和 Orchid, 她們的笑點比我低。
看第一行就斯文微笑然後很ㄍ一ㄥ的停住的，應該是 Nick, 他對女性主義話題很有研究，敏感度又夠。
拼命點頭的，應該是 LV 和 JB。LV 會記下筆記，下次教【性別與溝通】的時候將 Gulliver’s Travels 列入學生期末考的課外閱讀書單；JB 可能會在三個月實習完畢之後將這個主題變成一個裝置藝術作品，例如用蛤蜊殼畫出一個【犽猢家族】。
Amanda 和 Ding 也許會拍【媚眼犽猢】動畫或攝影集。
老吳aka小吳Yoyo 可能會撥空寫一篇〈那妳叫公犽猢怎麼辦？〉
LM 會利用明天進烘焙房的時候做出一個犽猢造型的起士蛋糕。
Free 正在忙著繪製第二枝【費小慢造型筆】。什麼造型？不說也知道！
其他人，例如 tea 和 Little LM, 可能會到家裡翻翻媽媽的書架找這一本書。(也許這兩本書)。
久未露面的駝鳥二號快從沙堆醒轉。他看到題目就猜到所有內容了，因為他已經聽過一百遍。
至於沒點到名的....也許心裡就在想了.....「這台長真的有開學焦慮的跡象了。」
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The origin of the term ”Yowie” in the context of unidentified hominids is
unclear. Some presume that it simply arose through confusion with the
aforementioned Aboriginal legend. On the other hand, Jonathan Swift’s
yahoos from Gulliver’s Travels are sometimes cited as a source. The word
”Yowie”was also apparently a slang term for the Orang-utan in Victorian
England.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yowie_%28cryptid%29)
雕像說明:
Statue of a Yowie in Kilcoy, Queensland,
Australia.
Creature Name: Yowie
AKA: Yowie-Whowie
Classification
Grouping: Cryptid
Sub grouping: Hominid
Data
First reported: Mid to late 19th Century
Last sighted: Present day
Country: Australia
Region: Great Dividing Range,
Northern Territorry, South
and West Australia
Habitat: Forests, mountains
The orangutans are two species of great apes known for their intelligence
and their long arms and reddish-brown hair. Native to Indonesia and Malaysia,
they are currently found only in rainforests on the islands of Borneo
and Sumatra, though fossils have been found in Java, Vietnam and China.
They are the only extant species in the genus Pongo and the subfamily
Ponginae (which also includes the extinct genera Gigantopithecus and
Sivapithecus). Their name derives from the Malay and Indonesian phrase
orang hutan, meaning ”person of the forest”.
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Subfamily: Ponginae (Elliot, 1912)
Genus: Pongo (Lacépède, 1799)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orang-utan
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