這是元老級鬧鐘的故事
新到的鬧鐘也許更鬧
拭目以待
On April 13, 2005,
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YV wrote an email to LM, JB and LV to share her joy of the day:
*****
This morning when I had a break, Dr. D_____ came by my room and she asked me if she could talk to my students. ”Yes!” I thought she was going to announce something to HER students and led her in.
Then she told the students (from our department.):
I just come to congratulate you about how lucky you are to have such a wonderful teacher. YV is the best teacher in our school and you are so fortunate to have such a devoted teacher,... etc.
I was petrified, literally. Well, I still remembered to say thanks to her and felt quite touched. Later after class, she came to explain why she had to do so.
”I have tried to do this for weeks. Each time when I passed your classroom and saw the class so committed to your lecture, I was really touched.”
Isn’t this a very cute colleague? (Ha! It only proves YV is a vain woman!) I don’t know how to thank her for the warmth she brought me today.
(Hey! Girls! Are your tears welling up your eyes?)
Anyway, I have the urge to share my joy today with you!
May joy be with you too!
YV9456
p.s. I wore JB’s gift book necklace to class today, and got all the envy. Heee! Heee! Heeeee! (Please see YV’s awkward drawing shone above)
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On the second day, something similar happened to YV.
YV wrote to the three attentive listeners to show off.
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…Afterwards, I met other guys that thrilled me. In the school’s faculty club, three colleagues came to give special greetings. One was a ”notoriously arrogant” guy, another was a funny musician, and the other was our dean. He told my students how lucky they were to dine with me, because he couldn’t have the honor to invite me for lunch. (Of course it was not true. He never did that!) Anyway, my students were very delighted and greatly amused.
After lunch, I brought the guy to meet a chairperson who promised to help us with the budget of our graduation performance. Every compliment showered all over again on me. I think the student must have thought the school had totally been occupied by hypocrites.
Over there I played the trick about the ”God Is Love” paper cutting--yes, the two brothers going to heaven. I did it because I had to explain why I wore JB’s gift book necklace and referred to the last fourteen Tuesday meetings and LV’s phone back to Taiwan to ask for this paper trick story which she taught me.....
Suddenly I realized some more things from this trick: Switching an angle, employing another way, HELL becomes LOVE. Or, you might say: HELL is LOVE in any way. We have to learn to love our students because ”this is hell.” (From The Tragedy of Doctor Faustus.)
Guess what I told the helpful chairlady? Ever since I learned this trick, I saw every piece of white paper as a jig-saw puzzle board which contains: Cross Is Love. And this is true, even though I am not a Christian.
End of boasting. I have to go to bed.
p.s. LV, thanks for your compliment and your journal. I will read it with more care after a goodnight sleep.
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LV’s reply to all,
Your story is truly touching. How much I wish I could have a colleague like yours! Your students must be busy in cleaning up all the goose bumps and tissues after her ”speech.” If I were in that class, I would definitely feel lucky and privileged. :)
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LM’s reply to all
JB 的〝寵物〞(很怕用這個詞，對動物實在不是太尊敬)好可愛喔，不過牠是長的像兔子的鼠還是長的像鼠的兔子，
還是................
對了，LV 學姊介意我把文章轉給一個現在在美國念書的朋友看嗎？.....(private information) 但是我想妳的經驗對她應該挺有幫助的，可以的話再麻煩妳跟我說一聲，好嗎？
ps：雖然 YV 老師說自己在〝自誇〞，但是講真的，我覺得自己很幸運很幸運才能認識妳，這是畢業之後第二次表態了，看到應該會很欣慰吧，哈！我終於不走忤逆老師路線了！
pps：好像應該跟學姊自我介紹一下，我是 XXX (真的越來越有禮貌了，
YV 有沒有同感呀)！？
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JB’s reply to all:
yes, LV, that’s true, we are not good to all people. But at the same time..YV’s right too, that we are cowards......(private information) hahahahahaha
I love when ”little monkey” asked Gwai Gwai is ”a guinea pig that looks like a rabbit”, or ”a rabbit that looks like a guinea pig”. that’s a funny thing to think about, maybe, his dad is a guinea pig while his mother is also a guinea pig, but then one day his dad got an affair with the rabbit living in the same jungle, and Gwai Gwai has to leave the jungle after he was born becuase his mom was so mad that she couldn’t stand the fact that her husband had a kid with the other woman. Gwai Gwai was then sent to Petco and met me there..
too much imagination, yes, 9456
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YV’s reply to all:
BTW, I am especially thrilled to be complimented by you, Little Monkey. You seem to find everybody ”Just Okay,” but I am great. Hee hee hee! (JB and LV are very nice people, so I have to take 10% off their praise.)
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LV’s reply to all,
JB, I guess we have to do it 110% when we give out compliments next time coz ”people” think we are too generous. Well, it’s true that we are nice people but we are not nice to just everybody. Right, JB? Remember .....(private information) hehehehe...
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YV’s reaply to all:
Do you know what makes these four people unite together here?
LV, JB, YV and Little Monkey are four COWARDS! 100% COWARDS!
Maybe Little Monkey is the biggest coward!
That’s why she has to wear a crew cut as a hairstyle to defend herself! (She is a Leo!)
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Then, someone wants to know about Little Four:
This is YV’s formal introduction:
Today I am more like an emperor! Ha!
Well, I don’t think LV would mind if she knows what kind of person ”Little Friend” is. (Essentially she is the biggest coward ever! She even dare not meet YV in person!)
Well, Little Friend is a very funny person, (too.) Being the fourth daughter at home, she is quite dominated/pampered by her three outstanding sisters--two famous musicians and a JUDGE! You can imagine how terrible it is to live in such a family!
Now it suddenly dawns on me--ALL OF YOU ARE THE YOUNGEST ONES AT HOME! No wonder you are all cowards. But then, why am I a coward? I am the biggest! No answer!
I observe something from you gals.
LV, JB and Little Friend live in absolute freedom, so they LOOK very nice. (Okay okay, they ARE nice.)
Little Monkey lives in a tyranny, so she HAS TO LOOK TOUGH in order to protect herself.
One day, when LM has her own house (She might be the new Director of --XXXX Hospital, Xin-Jang Branch in China.) She will start to wear a suit, stockings, high-heel shoes, a pearl necklace and rosy lipstick! (Yes, it will be a great scene to see this happen--very phenomenal.)
Now you know why I have time to try being funny and silly (and irritate LM on purpose. JB, I hope I have the talent like you to draw an LM in skirt and make her laugh and cry at the same time.) Yes, you got the answer. I should be doing something more important and emergent now. One class is going to have a midterm exam this afternoon, but I still open the book. Don’t mention writing the questions. All of the test questions are still in the air! (I bet this statement will make LV drop her jaw.)
Mercy on my self-defeating behavior!
To LM: 某學長說得好:「 老師，妳儘管教妳的書就好了。不乖的學生別管他，交給我們業界來修理！」 xxxx 果然是一個體制化大本營！不過我還是比較喜歡妳會對笨蛋國王說他沒穿衣服的膽量。」
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LM’s reply to all:
什麼時候我的縮寫改成LM了呀？
依那個我爹或我爺爺給我起的名字，應該是 WC 才對，可這好像沒比較好耶，那我還是繼續當 LM 好了！
還有，我頭髮已經不像大學那麼短了，雖然還是會被怪婆婆、怪嬸嬸、怪女生們問說「妳確定妳走對廁所嗎？」但是為了這些人去改變造型還有點蠢咧。不過YV老師說的事情(就是套裝那一大段)(註)會發生的機率大概是百分之0.1吧，既然發生機率那麼低，好像也沒啥好被刺激到的嘛！YV再怎麼故意也沒用啦，我是理智的史萊哲林學院小孩。
JB寫的鼠與兔外遇故事很好笑，拍成短片一定很好玩。(不過誰來拍呀？)
謝謝LV的回信，不過我想國小生(YC連小駟)不知道有沒有勇氣自己寫信給妳？她還挺害羞的咧！說到國小生，歡迎妳加入鬧鐘行列，人人是鬧鐘，世界才和樂啦！(好像國軍招生廣告喔，「加入國軍行列，創造台灣美好的未來」)
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YV’s reply to all:
WC 應該會「爬說語」吧！
那我們頂好不要鬧她。
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Then, the most decisive letter comes from LV,
**** **** **** ****
Dear Cowards,
I think it’s time to give our group a resounding title and I propose: International Coward Association (ICA). But being a coward myself, it will definitely be okay if you gals don’t agree with me on this proposal.
JB, your rabbit-mouse reminds me of a long-term question hidden in my mind. Is 馬來膜 a kind of pig or hippo? Whoever knows the answer, please help!
LM, LM is much better than WC, although having this name kinda sends out a message that this person doesn’t know which size she is wearing. L? or M?
YC, I am glad that we share similar interests. FYI, I am living in Manhanttan, not Long Island. Long Island City is an area in Queens, right across the East River from Manhattan. Sounds abstract? It’s okay. And, where are you?
YV, writing an exam right before the exam is so typical you. Why would I drop my jaw (although it’s been dropping regularly because I have 嚙顎關節炎--a disease belongs to cowards)? But, you are not allowed to procrastinate when we co-teach the introduction to Dolphin and Frog one day (pretending I am really tough).
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YV’s reply to all:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BTW, WC-LM’s size is S/M, nothing to do with L!
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LM’s defense:
先說關於協會名稱，小的一點意見都沒（這樣才符合鬧鐘本性）。還發現原來縮寫是很重要的，用縮寫感覺就很氣派！走出去和人家說我是ICA 的會員，應該會吸引不少羨慕的眼光吧，哈哈！
至於那位看人尺寸不怎麼準的Y說小的是M size，是有點誤判啦！看她誤認自己是XL size就知道，小的介在 L 和 M 中間，資訊要提供正確，不然如果有人要拎衣服回來送我的話，會買錯的啦(國小生妳看得懂我的暗示吧！？)。
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YC’s reply to all
dear all ICA members,
i sent it yesterday i promise....i promise i promise.....
i think only YV got my letter maybe she can prove it for me.............
anyhow being a member of ICA, i am ”responsible” (which means being a coward actually) for rewriting the email....
i got an e-mail from YV who said ”there someone has not come out yet..........
how dare she is???”
and i was afraid that she was referring to me............................
hahahaha what a coward i am.
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