這是 1998 年，也就是 「You've Got Mail 元年」，YV 幫 LV 寫介紹信的時候生產出來的番外篇附產品。(我以前怎麼這麼無聊呀?!) 那一個晚上我明明要交期中考考題，可是卻摸黑一個人在樓上寫無聊「創作」。真是鴕鳥得有夠厲害！ (2009.1.18 補記)
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November 1, 1998
To Whom It May Concern:
I take great pleasure in recommending Miss LV, who is applying for admission to your institute to advance her studies in whatever programs you can offer her.
Miss LV was one of the most hilarious and funny students in my class “Women’s Literature” and she audited two other courses--”Introduction to Literature” and “Modern European and American Fiction.” From this behavior you can know what personality she has. She is good at EVERYTHING.
She can be a good researcher. Look at her bag and check how many pens, cards, and souvenirs she has! She can find any kind of book you ask her to buy. Therefore she can study in your INSTITUTE OF LIBRARIAN SCIENCE.
She is also known to every student here as a good actress. In the ART OF ACTING class, she can make an impotent guy erect just with a charming gaze. Therefore, she can study in your INSTITUTE OF ACTING AND DIRECTING.
Miss LV has been a very famous letter-writer and poet. She can usually write letters to make all the addressees have a good cry and a good laugh with her. And since she took and audited so many literature courses, she can study in your INSTITUTE OF CREATIVE WRITING.
She has many merits. Housekeeping is one of those that benefit others. Her Capricorn mother, who is usually abroad, trains her to be a neat and diligent girl. Her housekeeping and carkeeping and bagkeeping and pencilcasekeeping must have been the most fantastic of all. Therefore, she can study in your INSTITUTE OF STATIONERY MANAGEMENT.
Miss LV has a reputation of owning the most records and CD’s in this peon school. You can pick up any song, and she will give the CD to you, as if she were a DJ in ICRT, which was the first and now is the second most popular Radio Channel in the bourgeois/elite circle in Taiwan. Therefore you can consider her to be in your INSTITUTE OF MUSIC MANAGEMENT.
This student is one of the most extraordinary in my teaching career. I wish that you give her the most deliberate consideration in your list. If you miss her, you will regret for the rest of your life. She will bring your school the most brilliant light and shine the whole school through. Never try to ignore her dream--to be "a" wife of SUPERMAN. She meant it.
Now she puts down her high self-esteem, and gives herself a very humble wish--studying in the INSTITUTE OF SC. This has been her major in and after school. Though she already learned a lot in school, and got the first in rank for graduation, she thinks of going further in this field, so that she would have time to fool around in her hobby. You might not say it is a bad habit. Even Homer nods. No one can blame others for this practical idea.
I strongly believe that she is a very potential student in this field and will make an excellent student in her future.
During these years, she has been in contact with me. Even after her graduation, she still keeps auditing two courses of mine. I think I know her well enough to say that she is very intelligent, hardworking and promising, and very cooperative and enthusiastic in researching, too. Thus I recommend her holeheartedly to your school, hoping you will give her application preferential consideration.
Any assistance you may render her will be much appreciated.
Sincerely yours,
YV,
